Long-lasting marriages and relationships aren’t usually as easy several years down the road as they seem from the start. Eventually the honeymoon phase will wear off. Kisses and hugs will begin to feel like routines instead of heartfelt gestures. And if you’re not careful, that over-familiarity with one another can signal the beginning of the end. 

But here’s the good news: you can overcome these lulls that you will inevitably experience with your partner. It just takes awareness and commitment. But to get there, it helps knowing the major signs that you’re growing (or have grown apart). Taking it from the top, here are some of the most common. 

1. Lack of physical intimacy

Physical intimacy often wanes as hormones start to level off or decline, but that doesn’t mean you should stop looking at or touching each other. Whether you’re 25 years old or 80, you can still be physically intimate with your partner to some degree that makes sense within the reality of your relationship. The key to overcoming this sign that you’ve grown apart is to make time for togetherness. Open up to one another, and the physicality will follow. 

2. Looking forward to your time apart

No one is saying that you should want to spend every waking minute of the day with each other, but if you derive more pleasure and energy from separating than you do from coming together, there’s a problem. Couples who communicate effectively are able to keep excitement in their marriages and relationships, and they are able to capitalize on the quality of time they spend together while not paying as much attention to the quantity. By pursuing each others’ interests and scheduling things that you can both look forward to you can ensure your time together is well spent. 

3. Losing your desire to put in the work

Maybe you know what needs to be done as a couple in order to fix your woes, but you just don’t care enough to put in the time and effort. If this is the attitude of one or both parties in a marriage or long-term relationship, then it’s very likely the situation is beyond hope. 

4. Refusing to listen

This final sign you’ve grown apart is a bit of an offshoot of some of the other entries on this list, but it is still worth singling out. When you are done trying and you lack the energy that it takes to strengthen your relationship, there’s a good chance that you’ll no longer listen to anything your spouse wants or says. This signals the breakdown of communication, which can be quite toxic. Whether it comes as a result of the other things on this list or it’s actually the cause, the moment you shut your ears to your spouse is the moment that all hope is lost. 

What were some ways that you knew you and your spouse had grown apart? Sound off in the comments section!