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Heidi Klum: Too Soon with new Beau?


Supermodel  Heidi Klum has gone through a very public divorce since her announcement in late January, of a split between her and now ex-husband Seal. The pair had been married for 7 years, and have 4 children together. Irreconcilable differences were cited as the reason for the split and ever since then, the two have not been out of the headlines.

Just weeks after the split, Seal was quoted as saying to celebrity gossip giants, TMZ, that Heidi had sparked a new relationship with “the help”. This remark was in reference to Heidi’s bodyguard Martin Kristen, who has worked for the family for four years.

These remarks made by Seal, ignited a firestorm of back and forth rants between both Heidi and Seal in the media over the last 7 months. Soon after Seal accused Heidi of infidelity, Heidi quickly released a scathing statement denying any such relationship with Martin Kristen. Seal then retracted his previous statement, claiming that he only meant the relationship had formed after the split and before the divorce was finalized.

I however, am not so sure. Seal seemed all too convincing in his first statement, almost adamant on the fact that Heidi had committed adultery.

Fast forward to today. How the story has come full circle. Klum, appeared on the Katie Couric talk show early Wednesday morning, where she announced that was indeed seeing her bodyguard of four years. So it begs the question, “why lie about it in the first place?” and better still, “is this too soon after the rumors and the divorce proceedings to date?”

From the outside looking in, one would have to lab towards yes, this is a little too soon. Klum has four children under the age of 8, and her divorce as well as the issues of child support and child custody have yet to be finalized. But, who are we to judge?

Alas, the ugly side of divorce has reared its head once again. Even when divorce papers are filed and signatures have been put on the dotted line, theres always something that comes back around. The celebrity world seems to have this in the headlines every week. Are there really any “amicable” divorces anymore?

Don’t Divorce Me! Kids’ Rules For Parents On Divorce


Divorces can be messy, and when children are involved, especially those under the age of 5, it can become even messier to say the least. Before filing for divorce, parents typically struggle to find a happy medium in order to decide what’s best for their children in times of dissolution. Sometimes the children are the ones that have the answers, no matter how young.

In a new HBO documentary entitled, Don’t Divorce Me! Kids’ Rules For Parents On Divorce, produced by Rosie O’Donnell, kids give off the cuff and uncanny divorce advice to their parents, all of whom are in the divorce process or have recently gone through a divorce. By combining candid interviews, drawings, songs and photos, this insightful film gives kids a chance to share poignant stories of how divorce has impacted their lives, and offer helpful advice to their parents. The film is scheduled to air on September, 20th at  6:30pm.

The film is unique in that it’s a first in seeing, hearing and trying to understand divorce from the side of the children, who unfortunately often get left in the dark on most of the “adult” decisions being made. Divorce affects children in a number of ways, especially those children who are young and still developing mentally. The children who are interviewed vary in age from five to ten years old, giving the film a broad spectrum of knowledge and understanding on the situation, as well as varying responses to the same questions. These young children tell their stories to remind parents that divorce and the resulting splitting of time, home and family is hard on them, but there are ways to make things better.

It’s so easy to forget that divorce affects so many people in so many different ways. If we learn anything from this film and the unbiased pure remarks from the children involved, it’s that approaching the situation with poise, calm and respect is the key.

Divorce is no walk in the park and so why not do all you can as an adult to make the situation as smooth and stress free as possible? The film also explores different ways in which parents can come to mutual agreements on things like child custody and support, money, houses and other assets. Take a different approach to divorce, for years, children have been left in the dark and out in the cold. Do not take their youth for granted, many children are astute to the ongoings of adult relationships, and can sometimes offer the best words of wisdom and reason. If anything, this movie should open your eyes and make you ask yourself, “am I handling this situation to the best of my ability, and am I thinking of my children in the process?”

The Dilemma of Divorce and Only Children


The prototypical nuclear family used to consist of 2 kids and 2 decimal points of a third child…

Post World War 2 and during the baby boom era, large families were encouraged and an accepted part of the American society. Our culture, from TV shows to advertising was built around the dynamic of the family. As the 1960’s and 70’s came and went, we saw this dynamic drastically change.

Women’s equality had a trickle-down effect that changed more than just work and marriage. The residual effect of a more progressive society has had a direct correlation on how we think of defining a modern family. Within the past 35 years, as of 2004, the amount of only-child families has almost doubled. The U.S. Census Bureau has not kept detailed information about the nature of how or why the number of only-child families has increased, whether by choice or circumstance. There are currently 20 million single-child families in the U.S. The percentage of American women having only one child has more than doubled in 20 years, to almost one quarter. The single-child family is the fastest-growing family in the U.S. As the divorce rates have risen as well in the single child family. what effects does this have on the child? And what can you do to help?

Easing the emotional stress

Any only child will feel grief stricken during the breakup of the family triangle. Along with this emotional schism will be the adaptation to a totally different routine. Only children have no peer or close sibling to lean on. As parents in this situation, there is no clear cut way to best handle the divorce process with only children.  There are ways to help emotionally ease only children that are entering into the sometimes harsh reality of a now fractured close knit family.

Prepare the child

It is often advised that parents break the news to children together rather than one parent doing it separately. This is especially true in the case of only children.  Explaining together that this decision was mutual and a tough one to make will help the child understand that even though separating, the family is all going through this together. Keeping the family in the same room talking about a major decision like this will emphasize that even though there will be a change in living situation, both parents are still equally and fully apart of the child’s life.

Building the predictable routine

Understandably an only child’s routine will go through a period of change and adjustment. The age of the child will dictate the varying degree of emotional adjustments and problems the child may go through. Attempting to add any instances of routine and predictability to these new situations will help ease the child into a new life style, while still keeping the same values as if the parents still lived under one house. Also maintaining certain habits in the only child’s routine will help with a sense of comfort-ability and familiarity.

Be prepared for questions

The individual age and maturity of an only child will dictate the level of questions, but make no mistake children; especially only children will have questions. Taking the time to fully explain and answer your child’s questions can help assuage the fears of the unknown that may be swirling around in the child’s head. There can also be the mistake of only child parents leaning on their children in times like these. Parents can sometimes treat the only children as more of an equal then they should transferring some of their own fears to a child who may not be mature enough to emotional handle a certain level of stress

Families with an only child can often be seem close knit, even if the parents in essence do not have a happy marriage. The potential effects of a divorce on an only child can be more detrimental in only children. The impact of divorces can be seen resonating throughout many different facets of an only child’s life and for years down the road. Being prepared as a parent with an only child can help soften the blow, remember these children do not have an equal counterpart in the family to lean on in situations where they might feel they cannot go to their parents. Older brothers and sisters sometimes substitute as pseudo parents especially for budding adolescents, but only children have only outward experiences and contacts to learn and lean on. Protecting the blow that divorce can cause will help only children remember that even though apart, their parents will always be there for them.

Divorce Law Explained: the Uniform Interstate Family Support Act


Many spouses seeking a divorce have a multitude of questions concerning paperwork, lawyers, fees and a laundry list of other things. When children are involved in the mix, the amount of questions and concerns between spouses increases tenfold. Each state has standard guidelines, rules and stipulations concerning custody and child support. However, when it comes to the matter of children and child support when parents are in different states, the rules change a little. There are a number of different laws and addendum’s that have been put in place to ensure that the rights of the children in these cases are not overlooked.

Uniform Interstate Family Support Act
The UIFSA was put into place to limit the jurisdiction that can properly establish and modify child support orders and address the enforcement of child support obligations within the United States.The act provides a new framework for states to use in collecting child support where the child and the parent reside in different states. It made it easier for state courts to exercise jurisdiction in establishing and collecting child support.

Under the legal definition of the act, support is broad enough to include child support, spousal support, health care, and related costs and attorney fees. More significant, the Act refers to a “tribunal” rather than a court, because its provisions apply to any administrative agency that has the power to establish and enforce child support orders. Many states have child support enforcement agencies with these powers. Each state’s’ Family Law Court will decide who is to rule on matters such as these.

Statewide Implementation

In cases where more than one state is involved in the establishing, enforcing or modifying a child or spousal support order, the Act is implemented to determine the jurisdiction and power of the courts in the each of the states. The Act also establishes which state’s law will be applied in proceedings under the Act. The Act establishes rules requiring every state to defer to child support orders entered by the state courts of the child’s home state.

The Act also provides various direct interstate enforcement mechanisms. This means that, it allows a caretaker parent to have an order mailed to the employer of the obligated parent, which will require that employer to withhold pay for the benefit of the child. Furthermore, it allows the caretaker parent to have an order mailed to an out-of-state court to get the other state to enforce the order. This is only done in severe cases or cases where a parent has failed to pay support for a lengthy period of time.

Child custody and child support laws are some of the strictest and highly enforced. When divorce proceedings take place, these are usually the issues that are highly debated amongst parents. The separation of spouses can sometimes come with an out of state move, for whatever reason. This Act ensures that any child in this circumstance, is protected. The best interest of the child is the priority of the court, no matter which state.

Strange Divorce Ruling

There have been a number of landmark cases that have set precedents for divorce and divorce laws. However, the majority of those were positive and propelled divorce into the 21st century. This being said, across the world, divorce is still seemingly catching up, and in a few rare cases, falling behind, thanks to the laws that were decreed so long ago before the new age of technology.

One instance of a set back in divorce laws is that of Mr. and Mrs. Prest, a case coming out

Pre-Divorce Filing Tips

Divorce is a messy business, but a business nonetheless. Entering into any business, one needs to know just how to survive and to stay afloat; otherwise, being in over your head is going to catch up, and fast.

One of the first things that needs to be done when entering into a divorce, that may be the hardest, is to try to separate the emotional aspects from the business aspects and be sure to get the help you need so you can get the best financial result possible. If a divorce is anything but amicable, the chances of an ex-spouse going for the jugular as far as finances is concerned is quite high. So here is a short list of things that you should do and think about before rushing to file for that divorce.

Finances, Finances, Finances

Understanding your current financial situation, in depth, is a key factor before entering into any divorce proceedings. Asking yourself questions like “What do I own and what do I owe?” are important. Be sure you know whose name certain assets are in, as well as whose name is on the debts. Credit can be ruined overnight if a spouse’s name is on a debt that is owned by the other spouse.

The Big Divide
Look into, properly allocate, and then separate your credit. Try to establish new credit in your name alone while removing your name from joint credit where possible. This will require closing joint credit cards and bank accounts. Start storing your own cash and assets in a new bank account. Setting up after the divorce is final will not be cheap or easy, so save for the immediate future now.

Think Ahead
Go over all wills and deeds; if your beneficiary choices are affected by the divorce, change them. also, consider your insurance needs: first, you’ll want to make certain that you’ll have uninterrupted health insurance. You may also want to consider requiring life insurance to guarantee continued alimony and child support, should your ex-spouse die prematurely. Decide now how college will be funded for any children involved within the dissolution. You can never plan too much. If you’re not the planning type, now marks a great point in your life to start.

The process of divorce is often a highly charged, emotional time. Don’t let the hectic, roller coaster of divorce lead you to make financial mistakes that can affect you for years to come. Plan ahead at all costs. Be rational and calm, especially in a dissolution that is less than amicable. Chances are, your ex-spouse is not thinking of your needs entirely, so look out for number one, and that’s you( and any children you may have).

Caught Hiding Assets During a Divorce

Going through a divorce can be an emotionally complicated matter. Every divorce scenario differs, but each is the literal split in which tension has been building for some time, and in truth it can entice people to make questionable decisions. Filing for divorce is not a simple situation, and can be a long and tedious process. It is essentially laying everything on the table for the spouses to sift through everything accumulated throughout their years of marriage.  When it comes to the legalities of the divorce process things can get a bit tricky, especially with finances. In many cases a spouses might not disclose all their assets, or try to hide sources of money so it is not included in the fair split between the spouses during the divorce proceedings.

Withholding Assets

Discussing incomes, money, and assets within the divorce procedure can lead some to attempt to hide their value, or purposely mislead the courts and the spouse as to how much they are worth. Even though this is not an uncommon thing, full disclosure is the law and subject to severe repercussions. These situations most commonly include, but may not be limited to:

  1. Hide, understate, or undervalue certain marital property;
  2. Overstate debts;
  3. Report lower than actual income;
  4. Report higher than actual expenses.

Proof of Deception

According to a recent study by the National Endowment for Financial Education, financial deception in the divorce process is still a common occurrence. Part of the study took a look at divorce across the country and surveyed a number of divorced couples, and found 31% of adults who combined assets with a spouse or partner said they have been deceptive about money. Also within the study were other prominent findings, such as:

  1. Nearly three in five of those surveyed (58 percent) said they hid cash from their partner or spouse.
  2. More than half (54 percent) hid a minor purchase from their partner or spouse.
  3. An additional 30 percent hid a statement or a bill from their partner or spouse.
  4. 34 percent admitted they lied about finances, debt, and/or money earned.

When it comes to finances, people can make some amazingly unwise decisions. Divorce often becomes a time when people use emotional ammunition to convince themselves this deception is not only warranted, but justified. Keeping perspective and a level head during divorce proceedings can benefit spouses in ways they probably had not imagined. Keeping a level head about your divorce helps you qualify for an online divorce, allowing you to handle the splitting of assets honestly and quickly with your partner and can save you thousands in legal costs. Visit today and learn how you can save thousands and get on with your life.

The Three Ways to Divorce

Filing for a divorce is the beginning of a major change in one’s life. There are two components of the divorce process that are sometimes hard to keep separated. The emotional divorce, which might already have happened between the divorcing couple, and the official divorce proceedings, which is usually a ongoing. In the official divorce proceeding almost every aspect of the marriage and material goods is negotiated and divided in a way that either the couple sees fit, or the courts deem fair.

However, it is often the case that many couples, clinging to the intense emotional side of divorce, cannot come to a reasonable decision regarding spousal or child support, as well as the division of marital assets. Even with the help of mediation, the intensely personal situation can create a standoff between spouses. The standoff often then leads to the costly arbitration and litigation process. Let’s take a look at the 3 ways the standoff between divorcing spouses can be worked though.


Negotiations are the first step in the process of reaching an agreement between spouses on all the assets, custody, and potential support agreements. Think of the negotiations as taking your wish list regarding how you divide your assets and what your parenting responsibilities should be, and use that wishlist as your starting point. “It’s me and my lawyer versus you and your lawyer finding a compromise”– all with the goal of reaching an acceptable middle ground. Try to avoid the “it’s me and my lawyer versus you and your lawyer trying to get as much as possible,” because then you both will be are stuck in a stubborn, petty stalemate.

The purpose of negotiation is using it to avoid trial. When people file for divorce there’s an expectation that there will be some maneuvering and bargaining and, eventually, a settlement rather than full blown court trial. The typical pattern is to use the threat of trial to get people to bargain and stay out of court.


Arbitration is, in a way, similar to litigation, but it is outside of a courtroom. It is a private process. The divorcing spouses, together with their lawyers, pick a third party decision maker, who is usually a retired judge or senior lawyer with family law experience.

What happens in arbitration is the decision being debated between the couple is imposed by the arbitrator. Unlike mediation, no one helps the couple come to an agreement; the decision is made for them. And, usually, if you don’t like the decision it can’t be appealed, which means you can’t argue it out again for the decision maker to change his or her mind.


Litigation is usually the option of last resort. Going to court can be emotionally difficult and very expensive. The lawyers try to poke holes in your persona, showing that you are unfit. That’s why it is called the adversarial process. There is one winner, and one loser. It’s not a win – win situation. It’s a war and there are distinct sides.

Like arbitration, the decision is made by a third party. Unlike arbitration, you can’t pick your decision maker and the judge doesn’t always have family law experience. Another difference is that arbitration is private, and litigation is public. Being public means that there is a public, court record of the dispute.

Avoiding arbitration and litigation is the goal of most divorcing couples. Having to go through a long, dragged out process that ultimately may take the decision-making power out of your hands on very personal matters is simply unacceptable for most people. Today with the option of an online, do it yourself divorce, couples who make an agreement on the major issues of their dissolution can save tremendous amounts of time and money by doing it themselves. At we provide those couples who qualify for an online divorce with accurate and 100% legal divorce papers. Visit our site today and take the first step towards the next phase of your life.

Co-Parents, Co-Pilots

200258257-001The first month of the New Year is about to come to a close, and if January is still the most popular month for divorce, many find themselves facing the task of rebuilding their lives. You may feel pain, resentment, and confusion over the situation, but the world still continues to turn, as divorced parents are fully aware. So hold yourself together, pick yourself up, and start rebuilding your life.

However, we have one caveat when rebuilding your life, and it concerns children. If you and your ex had children, just realize it will be impossible (and probably unhealthy) to try to rebuild without including your ex. We’ve said it once, and we’ll say it again: You can stop being someone’s spouse, but you can’t stop being someone’s parent.

Erasing the ‘Bad Parent’ Feeling

It will be difficult to still allow the person who caused (and causes) you so much pain to still have any part of your life, but there are a few ways to try to make it work. Just a few words of wisdom before we launch into what seems like a Herculean task: These tips are guidelines, which might be terribly difficult to follow.

Just recognize no one is (or should) be expecting you to be able to follow these guidelines immediately. Think of them as an end goal in this whole situation. No one is perfect, and the last thing you need is to be left feeling inadequate or like a lesser person for not being able to shut off your feelings.

Rebuilding Your Life, With Your Ex

You and your ex need to establish your roles as divorced parents, and how that will play out for the rest of the children’s lives. Here are a few goals to aspire to in your new “co-parenting” journey.

  • Keep Civil Rights Alive: You don’t have to be buddy-buddy, but avoid being antagonistic. So be civil, even if there are some things or words of your ex’s that make you want to laser beam them into ashes. This will give your children a feeling of stability, instead of making them as though they have to suit up like a S.W.A.T. team whenever their parents are together.
  • Planning Makes Perfect: Collaborate on a schedule for the children. Planning for who will have the kids on holidays and such will eliminate stress, high-strung emotions, and probably tears. It will also allow for a more peaceful co-parenting transition for the children.
  • You Are Not the Gestapo: You know how the secret police in Nazi Germany would hold 24 hour or longer interrogations, making people confess to what the Gestapo wanted to hear? Don’t do that. When your children come home from time with your ex, don’t fire off rounds of questions. You may ask “Did you have fun?,” but questions about your ex’s personal life are off limits. Also, if you have questions about the schedule, ask your ex. Keep the children out of the middle for your sanity and theirs.
  • Don’t Play Hide-And-Seek: Get used to being in the same room, at the same time, as your ex. It will be difficult for quite a while, but don’t let these moments of brief contact be about the contact. Chances are, the contact will be necessary for the children (school plays, parent-teacher meetings, awards ceremonies, graduation, recitals, and so much more). This will make future functions easier on both of you, as well as keep your child from being addicted to anxiety pills.

There is one last giant addition to this list, but its so important to fully understand, it requires its own blog. So just bear with us, and we’ll get to it tomorrow. In the meantime, let us know what you think about these tips/guidelines/ goals (whatever you want us to call them). Will they be difficult or easy? Are there any we missed?

Parenting Teens After Divorce, Step 3: Preserve Childhood

89585334We’ve come to our last tutorial on parenting teenagers through a divorce, and we’ve saved the best for last. Step 1 was about establishing a strong communication line between you and your teen, and Step 2 was about effective parenting during the teen years. Step 3 is all about focusing on you, so you can let your child have their childhood. At first this might seem like an direct paradox, but hear us out and all will be clear.

#3: Let Them Be Young

During and after a divorce, a parent may be experiencing such a horrible time that their child steps up and becomes caretaker, confidant, and, inadvertently, co-parent. This phenomenon has been labeled as parentified children, which basically describes a child who has assumed parental duties at a young age. The most common example of parentified children are the eldest children of large families. These children are often called upon to be mommy’s or daddy’s little helper with wrangling their younger siblings, but its a slippery slope to taking on parental duties, cleaning duties, and eventually running the household.

In divorce, children (including teens) can become parentified children if their parent is perceived to be overburdened and so distraught they cannot function without help. Divorce marks a devastating time in any spouse’s life, but if there are children involved the parents must try to avoid casting their child in a caretaker role. It can be tempting to view your new familial situation as you and your child against the world, but be careful of stripping your child of their childhood.

How to Preserve Childhood

We don’t mean to scare parents into keeping their distance from their children, we just want parents to be aware of the consequences of their actions. There are a few ways to be emotionally close with your child, have great communication, and not parentify your child. Let us show you how:

  • Don’t talk to your teen like you would your friend. You and your teen can be friends, but know the difference between the two relationships. For example, with your friend you would vent about your ex, your feeling of despair, and your deep insecurities and doubts. With your child you can convey your feelings, but you shouldn’t ever bad-mouth your ex (their parent) or put doubt in their mind about your ability to keep it together. Doing those things would only trigger anxiety within your teen and trigger parentification.

  • Don’t make your teen the middleman between you and your spouse. This essentially forces your teen to play diplomat to two feuding countries. It will also put your teen in the awkward position of having to choose between their parents. If you had two children, would you want them to make you choose who you loved more? No. So don’t reverse the role on your child.

  • Don’t make your teen the sole source of your life and happiness. It places a great burden and responsibility on them, makes them miss out on activities, and it will leave you unsatisfied. Find something you can do alone for you; become a hiking fanatic, join a book club, or take up a new hobby. Keep yourself balanced, and you’ll bring balance to your household.