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4 Secrets To A Great Divorce

When it comes to relationships, you often hear about the secrets to having a great one, but no one ever talks much about the secrets to a great divorce. As an online divorce review site, this topic comes up a lot because it really is possible to end a marriage without going through a dozen or more headaches and experiencing stress to the max. Whether you’re hiring an attorney or handling things yourself, here are the secrets to making it work when it doesn’t work out.

1. Forget love and practice respect.

You don’t have to love one another any more to have a good divorce. You may not even like one another. The key is to keep that from manifesting itself into a negative form of action. That’s why respect is so important. If you can respect your soon-to-be ex as a human being, then you will be able to work through any differences that arise.

2. Keep children from the mudslinging. 

Ideally there won’t be any mudslinging if you’re able to respect one another, but if you should have disagreements and verbal conflicts, make sure you keep the kids far away from that. It’s best to go to a location that will afford you privacy so you can talk out your differences civilly. Perhaps consider working with a mediator to avoid circumstances where arguments can reel out of control.

3. Discuss your options before going separate ways.

Simply talking about how each of you expect the divorce to go and how you want to do your best to avoid headaches and conflict escalation will create an awareness to see you through the process or at least ground you to a common goal when things start to veer off course.

4. Learn to forgive even if you’re not asked for forgiveness.

Not only will this prepare you for any negotiations that arise, it will also make it easier to transition into life as a single person once the papers are final.

If you’re still not sure about the next steps to take, consider browsing through our online divorce reviews. We cover both attorney referral services and DIY forms sites. By picking the best pathway, it will be easier to put the above secrets to good use.

Divorcing During The Holidays: What Every Couple Should Know

The holidays may not be the best time to announce that you are getting a divorce, but if the situation has become unsustainable, you may have to at least broach the subject with your children. As an online divorce review site, we’ve seen many couples wait until the first of the year to move forward, but this is only effective if you can make the holidays about your children and play nice with each other. Still, children are observant, and it may be for the best to come out with it. Divorce is never convenient for children, and if you have to make divorce a part of their holidays, then try to follow these steps.

1. Make your kids comfortable. 

If you can tough it out until after the holidays, do so. Either way, try to place your children in a position where they are comfortable. Whether that means spending the day in a large group of family and friends or in the privacy of home, do it. Just don’t let your issues with each other manifest themselves, directly or indirectly, in front of the kids.

2. Be civil. 

Your spouse may not be your favorite person any more, but that shouldn’t stop you from behaving like adults. You wouldn’t get into a shouting and screaming match with your worst enemy in a public place, so why air dirty laundry or try to degrade each other in front of the kids? No good can come of it. You may feel like a phony for a bit, but that’s much better than scarring your little ones for life with an ill-timed altercation.

3. Consider settling the divorce yourself.

While attorneys are sometimes necessary to the end of a marriage, the best outcome is to handle things peacefully on your own. That’s why we have a lot of online divorce reviews that cover forms sites. If there isn’t a lot of controversy and conflict between the two of you, then a DIY site can make the filing process simple and effective. The really good ones even allow you to develop a parenting plan for after the divorce.

As you enter the holiday season, keep these things in mind and don’t let divorce dampen the celebration for your children.

What to Expect in a Divorce?

One of life’s most difficult questions you may run into is if  you should end a marriage or not.  Many people are unsure as to whether they will pursue a divorce or want to understand the process for acquiring one.  Knowledge can be very empowering and may help you think more clearly as to how you wish to handle the issues within your marriage.  This article gives a basic overview of the stages of a divorce case.

In some cases you may not automatically want to file your Divorce Complaint, although there may be reasons you wish to do so.  In this case you may want to try and resolve the issues that are relevant to considering ending your marriage.  If you have come to the final decision of moving forward with a divorce and feel there is no hope left then you need to start your divorce process.  During this time, you will likely exchange whatever information needed to have disclosure on financial issues.  You can even work with mediators or care professionals, if necessary, in order to resolve any conflicts with regard to custody and parenting time of your children.  Once the settlement is reached, it is reduced to writing and executed by the parties and counsel.  At this time, the parties can file the pleadings to obtain a divorce and seek enforcement of the agreement they have reached.

In the event that the circumstances of your case force you to file your divorce pleadings immediately rather than pursue pre-filing settlement options as discussed above, then your case will proceed differently.  The filing of the Divorce Complaint has an important impact.  Generally speaking, it establishes the termination date of your marriage and is the date by which assets of a marriage are identified and valued.  The filing of the Divorce Complaint also triggers many court deadlines for moving your case forward.  For example, your spouse will have thirty-five days to respond to the pleading that you filed.  From there, you and your spouse will prepare financial disclosure forms called Case Information Statements.  These forms will be filed with the court.

You will also begin a process called “discovery” in which you and your spouse will have a certain fixed period of time to respond to formal requests for information. These demands are called “Interrogatories,” which are written questions, to which you must respond, and a “Notice to Produce,” or a demand for documents, to which you will also have to respond by producing the documents requested in the demand.  Depositions may also occur during this discovery period.  Depositions consist of a series of questions that you and your spouse answer under oath. The attorney representing your spouse asks you the questions; your attorney questions your spouse.  Furthermore, if there are contested issues of custody and parenting time and/or if there are assets that need to be valued, such as real estate or a business, those evaluations occur during this time period with the assistance of experts.

Once discovery is completed there are certain initiatives organized by the court to assist you in trying to reach a settlement of your case.  One such initiative is called Early Settlement Panel, where approximately two attorneys volunteer their time to sit as panelists and hear from your counsel the merits of your positions in your divorce.  At the conclusion of that presentation, the panelists will offer a non-binding and confidential assessment of how they would resolve your case based on their experience.  If your case does not settle at Early Settlement Panel, then you are provided the opportunity to go on to Economic Mediation.  During Economic Mediation, attorneys who are qualified mediators volunteer approximately two hours of their time to again hear from you and your counsel and try to help you reach a resolution of your open issues.  With both Early Settlement Panel and Economic Mediation, your spouse and his/her attorney also present their position. At the conclusion of Economic Mediation you report back to the judge assigned to your case to advise the court of the status of your case.  If at the end of Economic Mediation your case is still not settled, then the court will likely schedule an in-court settlement conference and/or a trial date.

The above offers a quick summary of the general process of a divorce.  Subjective circumstances of an individual case can certainly cause a case to evolve in a variety of different directions.  A complicated custody dispute can also make a divorce more involved, although courts do prioritize custody matters and try to expedite those cases, preferably within a six month period of time tolling from the filing date of the Complaint for Divorce.  It is also important to keep in mind that with the assistance of counsel and cooperation from the parties, even complicated matters can be solved expeditiously.  Every divorce varies according to your situation.

If you have read the divorce process and realize that you can have an amicable divorce and come to agreements to resolve this divorce quickly.  Then I encourage you to simply go to www.mydivorcedocuments.com where you can download your specific state low cost forms and kits today.

Negative Energy; Divorce’s Ugly ByProduct

Of all the emotions that can be rendered from the divorce process, Anger is truly the single most dangerous emotion that rears its ugly head when divorce is involved. Making matters all the more troubling is that when the process is over and considered a closing chapter in your life it is not uncommon that these two emotions though will last a great deal above and beyond what should have been the initial benchmark for closure.

Anger and resentment are natural responses to being emotionally damaged and are all too uncommon feelings that are experience and held onto during the divorce process. It is perfectly normal to feel some or all of these things when you have been hurt. These feelings may seem impossible to let go of, especially if issues of child custody and child support are concerned, but for a platitude of explanations but hanging on to them and letting those feeling linger and fester will only have an end result of long lasting negative effects on your mental and physical well-being and without question compromising your ability to start working towards rebuilding your life. The attitude of rebirth and a second chance to start with a better, more fulfilling life should never take a back seat to residual negativity.

Anger, resentment, guilt, and other negative emotions can slowly eat away away at the stability of your life in the following ways;
Anger is an energy that is draining and sadly the process of divorce and divorce laws can set up an overwhelmingly negative situation. That energy of anger robs you and depletes you of your positive power by transfering it to the person you are mad at. How much energy it takes to be mad at your ex? How much time and energy have you spent thinking and lingering over it? Time and Energy both have finite resources and no one has ever benefited by letting negative energy take over the positive and proactive abilities at your disposal.

An instinctive reaction to a grievance is resentment. Stemming and forming from the perception that you have been wronged or somehow being treated unfairly. Resentment can be defined as an inherent binding to bitterness and can be linked to the dangerous road toward outright hatred. These emotions can slowly and surely start to negatively impact the mind, body, and heart not to mention these two negative emotions of resent and anger are unquestionably socially destructive. Have friends stopped returning your calls or emails? It is probably not that they no longer want to be friends as much as it is that spending time with an angry, resentful person is unpleasant. We are not the first to realize that the fastest way to alienate others is to perpetuate yourself as one who cannot let go of the emotional baggage of anger and resentment. When someone who used to be known as “the fun friend” is now known as “the angry friend” you can expect luncheon invitations will start to decline. And while an online divorce kit can help start the divorce process we also recognize that factors of post divorce emotional well being.

In essence-do not lot divorce define your life and who you are. No matter how negative and emotionally draining the divorce process may have been letting it define you as a person is the surest way to limit your post divorce possibilities.

Divorce-Weighing the Cost Spectrum

 

We here at Mydivorcedocuments.com often get asked the question How Much Divorce Really Cost? Its a good question and based purely on the number of variables there is no direct nor scientific answer. If you or your spouse choose to battle tooth and nail of every small step of the divorce process and with high priced legal teams then you are probably looking at both spouses filing for bankruptcy as the end of court proceedings.

Then again the pendulum can swing in the other direction as well , if you can sit down like adults and decide without the assistance of OJs dream team on how best to separate; the costs associated will be infinitesimally smaller by contrast as you and your ex to be can hammer out the details and use a Do It Yourself or DIY Divorce Kit. Keep in mind that with the legal process of divorce there are always going to be some marginal cost associated with the process in itself.

But lest we kid ourselves the data is staggering and overwhelming that Divorce is business unto itself in the US and according to some statistics divorce can be a $28 billion annual industry with the average costs of divorce estimated to be roughly $ 20,000. We must attest this figure largely buoyed by celebrity and other high profile divorces we have covered here in previous blogs.

If you are thinking and weighing your divorce options, then one must assume both the short term and long term costs to consider. While short term costs are mainly associated with the attorney fees the long term ramifications include questions of finance and lifestyle. Thus the DIY Divorce is finding a niche for responsible adults who want a fair and amicable split without the legal rhetoric and courtroom haggling. Divorce kits include legal forms based and custom designed for all US States and cover the gamut of details that need to be decided on like personal property and real estate issues, child support, legal name changes and more. You can simply file and submit these documents to the court with some state laws not even including the provisions of making a date with a judge to explain the reasoning or logic. If it is a nofault uncontested divorce and the documents are fair and reasonable then the divorce can become final. Make no mistake-this is the cheapest way to divorce.

Examining the route of traditional Divorce which sees most couples hiring opposing lawyers to battle out the property, alimony, child support and other issues out in the court of law the costs of divorce can be staggering. With most lawyers charging an hourly rate you can expect to pay somewhere between $ 100 and $ 450 per hour. At at a minimum of $100 bucks a pop-do they really have an incentive to settle amicably and see to it that proceedings happen in a quick and efficient manner? This is not to say that divorce lawyers are all cut from the same cloth as many do have varied philosophies to the divorce process and in the manner they handle most divorce proceedings. But once again- the idea of divorce is to make the split amicable and rationally-the more you can keep a level head and the emotions tame the better off both spouses with be with the outcome. No Fault Uncontested DIY Divorce Kits can make this option a tangible reality.

File For Divorce Online; An Idea Whose Time has Come

 

Back in the day, the idea of divorcing your spouse was a challenge and invariably lead to rumors or innuendos that one spouse must have committed some grounds of divorce as as unspeakable, unsavory or sordid act like committing adultery, spousal abuse or emotional abuse and utilize these as leverage on the assumption they would serve as ammo or the necessary needed proof that your spouse had acted improperly and thus be granted a divorce. Think about that-two adults who wished to make the split almost being forced to attack the other simply to earn the right of being freed of matrimony.

Fortunately, those days are behind us divorcing your spouse is much easier. Most couples can simply divorce sans courthouse using the downloadable divorce kit without the stigma and horror of having you and your family forced to ride the roller coaster of divorce court and the possibility of children having to listen to mom and dads lawyers making each of their parents out to be horrible people. With the theatrics and working knowledge of the courts and the divorce process some lawyers are very adept at stretching a court case out far longer then it other wise would need to be.

If there are children involved-avoiding the courtroom altogether is the best decision possible as it considers the feelings of children and avoids the high probability of humiliation and trauma of sitting and listening hearing about mom or dads worse personal traits paraded through the court.
All states nowadays allow for “no fault”, “no contest”, or uncontested divorce which essentially means that both spouses can agree on the terms of a divorce and amicably work out their own settlement. Considered in this process is the sorting out of assets and loans, cars and houses, child custody, alimony etc etc.

With the notion of a long term courtship or knowing your soul mate after 10 minutes becoming far less frequent- we have seen a distinct rise in couples who are either getting married far too young or simply getting married after a very short time after meeting. As much as we smirk and snicker at the idea of a downloadable divorce kit; A “no contest’” divorce also has the benefit in that a couple can simply decide to split without having to give a reason.

And without question in almost all instances an uncontested divorce kit will surely avoid attorneys, lawyers, and court rooms which also equates to a “no contest” divorce being far more cost effective. Basically seeing both spouses work out the details by themselves to the benefit off all parties involved in an adult, rational decision.

Post Divorce Dating; A Brave New World

 

The court case is over and the papers have been filed, the signatures have been applied with the I’s dotted and the T’s thoroughly crossed. If you completed a no fault uncontested divorce using an online divorce kit it probably means a better position for both parties. If you are a man it means being able to catch a football game with the guys whenever you like without asking for permission. For Women it means being able to spend more time with a close friend and visit all of the places you couldn’t visit when you were married. And once again the possibilities of dating and new exciting relationships linger and ever present.

The facts are though that dating post-divorce can be an exciting yet scary thing. Of course a lot of your attitude will depend on how your divorce went. A no fault uncontested amicable divorce will allow you to enter the new realm on a positive note; while a bitter divorce that may not have ended with the results you wanted may leave you timid, angry, bitter and in no position to once again be the life of the party you were pre-marriage. Every potential dating prospect may remind you of your ex which may set off a self fulfilling prophecy. If you are coming out of a long term marriage the dating game has drastically changed.

New found freedom post-divorce especially after a time consuming relationship can be a wonderful chance for you to get in touch with yourself. This is also a great time to pick up old hobbies or learn more of subjects of interest hat you’ve always wanted more information about but simply didn’t have the time due to marital and familial obligations. It is a shame more dont give out this type of divorce information. Go out and try something new! Make sure you are emotionally prepared and honest with yourself that you are prepared to enter the dating game. Do not look for a new relationship as a band aid or some sort of bridge.

When you take the first baby step into the dating game, tread lightly and slowly. Consider if you are one who likes group settings or more intimate company. There is nothing wrong with preferring conversation to a loud and noisy nightclub. If you used downloadable divorce forms you are probably aware of the new realms offered online. The Internet has opened up an entire new world allowing chat and email communication which means you will probably know far more about your dating partner then the old days of blind dates and pick up joints. Another benefit of online correspondence? You can take the relationship on your pace and terms; not to mention knowing your next date has at least moderate typing and computer skills.

Take advantage of the scenery change! Did you ex take up activities you didn’t like or had some personality quirks you found grating? Look at this as the opportunity to find your soul mate. If you ex had light skin and red hair you can opt for a more dark complected partner. If your partner wasnt the most talented you can find a Karaoke Buddy to spend time with. The Ex was stingy or obsessed with money? Some local art classes or community theater may all provide options for those with a taste for the arts over that of the Benjamins. Do not settle for less! This is a fantastic opportunity to do things on your terms-and if you remarry maybe the last for quite sometime. But remember- if the next marriage doesnt work out there is always do it yourself divorce courtesy of MyDivorceDocuments.com.

Divorce and Adultry

Some recent studies have suggested that fewer marriages are ending due to infidelity, on the face it sounds like a huge step in the right direction for the age old institutional practice of marriage and maybe not the best thing for a company that makes a living with its online divorce kit. 

Though this recent trend is a positive sign and without question a step in the right direction; we would be remiss to the pretend that cheating and marital infidelity has disappeared. It also begs the questions how many acts of martial infidelity go undetected throughout to the life span of marriage. But as we pose the question at heart we ask why does infidelity occur in the first place?

Here is some more divorce information you will find useful. Some Research being done by our friends up north in Canada did a recent study of a group of 1,000 men and women. Those findings offered some interesting perspective into the factors that sway people to seek gratification from a partner other then their spouse.

Amongst the findings it was revealed that stat breakdown was that 23 percent of the guys and 19 percent of the ladies involved in the study had previously cheated on a partner. The study defined cheating as a sexual interaction “with someone other than your primary partner that could jeopardize, or hurt, your relationship.” In Addition, researchers found that women were in fact far likelier to cheat when they felt some amount of low relationship satisfaction. The is some interesting divorce information indeed. The study showed a woman who was in an unhappy relationship with her partner was a full 2.6 times more likely to stray. Other factors such as sexual incompatibility led to a full 2.9 times more likely chance of woman having an affair. Meanwhile, men who report high sexual inhibition due to performance anxiety were more likely to cheat.

Clearly the report indicated that cheating tends to come and stem from factors that effect all relationships at some point. It is not as if these factors are those that any relation ship has never suffered from or ever experienced.

What would seem to be the most obvious factor then in prohibiting marital infidelity is to continually monitor the lines of conversation and foster a relationship build on openness, trust, and honesty. of course there is always the option of do it yourself divorce but a couple who fails to communicate; fails to remain a viable couple. With age comes wisdom and being able to express feelings as well as being open up to take and relate to relationship criticism is seeming the road to a happy marriage And barring a couple who have entered into the bond of holy matrimony for all of the wrong reason and without a sound foundation-there is hope for almost any relationship for those willing to try.

MyDivorceDocuments Presents; Divorce Information for Men

If your ex doesn’t work in a cooperative manner or lacks the ability to do what is best for the children; Take the high road. Someone will have to take the responsibility of being the anchor and the sail and if it isn’t going to be your ex it is your responsibility like it or not.