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Women’s Well-Being Down After Divorce, Study Shows

At our online divorce review site, we pride ourselves on keeping up with the latest trends in marriage and divorce. That curiosity leads to uncovering some pretty eye-opening studies including the latest from Gallup, released earlier this month.

According to the polling organization, women’s well-being suffers more than men’s when the marriage ends. Some of the findings shared include the following:

  • On a scale of 0 to 100, married people tended to have higher well-being scores (63.9) than non-married (59.6 for singles, 56.5 for divorce, and 54.8 for separated). This particular nugget shows that while divorce can improve well-being from the uncertainty of separation, it still greatly trails those in strong marriages and those who’ve decided not to tie the knot.
  • Married women showed a better well-being than married men, but when they became divorced their well-being dropped off more significantly, crashing from 65.0 married to 57.1 divorced and 54.5 separated. Men showed a well-being factor of 62.8 married but fell into the 55s for divorced and separated statuses.
  • Domestic partnerships — while faring better than the single, divorced, and separated — did not report as high of a well-being as married individuals.

What does all of it mean? It means that marriage is still very important to Americans, and they’re willing to go into it, despite the high divorce rates, because they understand that they will be happier if they find the right person.

Unfortunately, it’s the individuals who so often do not find the right person that end up reporting the lower numbers.

For the full details of Gallup’s polling, click here. You’ll get the full charts, and yes, there are some other interesting relationship finds that make it well worth your time.

If you are already reeling from the impending end of your divorce and aren’t sure what should come next, we invite you to take a look at some of our online divorce reviews. By seeing the DIY sites and the attorney referral services that are worth your time, you can alleviate much of the pain of divorce and get on with a happier life.

How Can You Be Happily Married And Cheat? New Study Says It’s Possible

Here at our online divorce review site, we get a lot of visitors looking for a divorce due to infidelity on the part of their spouses.

While men are often maligned for cheating on their wives — and truthfully, they do still hold the edge — new studies have shown that women are closing that gap, and the reasons they do it are completely different. In fact, the latest study to come along even asserts that happily married women can and do cheat on their husbands.

The new research from affair dating site Ashley Madison looked at 100 heterosexual, married females between the ages of 35 and 45 and their online conversations with potential hookups. According to the findings, 67 percent of the women seeking an affair said they wanted more passion in their lives.

“The most predictable thing about a relationship is that the longer it progresses, the quality and the frequency of sex between the couple will fade,” said Eric Anderson, a professor of masculinity, sexuality and sport at the University of Winchester in England and a co-author of the study. “This is because we get used to and bored with the same body,” thus draining the marriage of intimacy and excitement.

When it came to the question of whether they wanted to leave their husbands, Anderson said that not a single participant wanted to, and that some even “stated their overt love for their husbands, painting them in a positive light.”

Most of the women also sought out affairs with monogamy in mind, which goes against the psychology of the cheating husband. In other words, when men cheat, they usually do so with multiple partners because they don’t want the attachment. Women, however, are looking to connect, the study said.

In both cases, infidelity installs a major roadblock for couples looking to reconcile because trust will always be an issue moving forward. It’s far better to have the awkward “sex” talks, seek counseling, and explore new depths of your existing relationship. A little restraint never hurt anyone either. But if you do find yourself facing a divorce, and you wonder how the Internet can help you, check out some of our online divorce reviews for attorney referrals or forms completion.

Iowa Divorce Rate Drops To Lowest Point In 45 Years

Running an online divorce review site, we’ve often heard that financial difficulties are among the leading reasons people get divorced, but news out of Iowa would seem to indicate otherwise.

According to the Quad-City Times, financial turmoil seems to be keeping people together as the state just posted its lowest divorce rate since 1968.

Last year’s total of 6,715 marriage dissolutions was just north of the 6,511 couples, who sought how to file for divorce in 1968, data compiled by the state Department of Public Health revealed.

“What’s happening is the recession is keeping people from divorcing,” said associate professor of sociology Susan Stewart of Iowa State University. “It’s really expensive to get a divorce and to set up new households … Family research shows that when there is financial hardship — and this is society-wide because of the recession — people just tend to maintain the status quo. They don’t make any big life changes, and that includes putting off having children, delaying getting married, and delaying getting divorced as well. All of these are national trends, and Iowa is also following these same trends.”

While do it yourself divorce options can offer cheaper means to the dissolution of a marriage, most Iowa couples, who are experiencing marital difficulties, have chosen not to pursue that as an option. There could be a number of reasons for the refusal to split.

  • A contentious relationship: neither spouse plans to part amicably if/when the divorce does finally happen. Perhaps one spouse has more separate property and/or earning potential, and that could establish a reluctance on the part of both parties to simply walk away from the marriage.
  • Child custody issues: if two spouses cannot agree on a custody arrangement and the disagreement could lead to a costlier divorce proceeding, then parents will likely not wish to add extra burden on the child. As a result, they could be waiting until financial matters turn around before pursuing divorce.
  • Only one party wants the divorce: if only a single party is committed to the divorce, then the chances of conflict increase, and with that, so do the costs.

If you and your spouse don’t fall under any of these descriptions, then you may want to pursue a DIY divorce online. specializes in easing the burden of divorce by pointing you toward online divorce reviews for some of the very best DIY and attorney referral sites on the web.

Seal and Heidi Klum; When Divorce Goes (Very)Bad


Supermodel Heidi Klum has gone through a very public divorce since her announcement in late January, of a split between her and now ex-husband Seal. The pair had been married for 7 years, and have 4 children together. Irreconcilable differences were cited as the reason for the split and ever since then, the two have not been out of the headlines. In an era when Kristen Stewart and Katie Holmes are dominating the headlines, Seal and Klum are slowly beginning to dominate the media headlines for reasons both would rather not be renowned for.

Just weeks after the split, Seal was quoted as saying to celebrity gossip giants, TMZ, that Heidi had sparked a new relationship with “the help”. This remark was in reference to Heidi’s bodyguard Martin Kristen, who has worked for the family for four years.

These remarks made by Seal, ignited a firestorm of back and forth rants between both Heidi and Seal in the media over the last 7 months. Soon after Seal accused Heidi of infidelity, Heidi quickly released a scathing statement denying any such relationship with Martin Kristen. Seal then retracted his previous statement, claiming that he only meant the relationship had formed after the split and before the divorce was finalized.

Seal seemed all too convincing in his first statement, almost adamant on the fact that Heidi had committed adultery and the salacious celebrity press was none too happy to oblige in spreading his quotes for all too read. If you were thinking this pairing would be able to negotiate an uncontested divorce you were wrong.

Fast forward to today. How the story has come full circle. Klum, appeared on the Katie Couric talk show early Wednesday morning, where she announced that was indeed seeing her bodyguard of four years. So it begs the question, “why lie about it in the first place?” and better still, “is this too soon after the rumors and the divorce proceedings to date?”

From the outside looking in, one would have to lab towards yes, this is a little too soon. Klum has four children under the age of 8, and her divorce is not finalized. But, who are we to judge?

Alas, the ugly side of divorce has reared its head once again. Even when papers are filed and signatures have been put on the dotted line, there’s always something that comes back around. The celebrity world seems to have this in the headlines every week. Are there really any “amicable” divorces anymore? It may ring true for average Americans, but in today’s Hollywood we are not so sure.

Post Divorce Dating; Daunting or Refreshing?

For many, the question of How to divorce is the hardest question they will ever ask themselves.  Although this is only one blogger’s personal opinion, marriage is about mutual trust, love, and respect.  If there is no desire from one person or the other to improve upon the lacking areas, then the vows have already been broken, and the contract that bound a couple is null and void.  It may sound overly cause-and-effect, but sometimes that is what’s needed to make the decision that’s truly in your best interest.

Online dating is a great way to ease into the process of meeting new people.  Too often, we fall into the trap of “I’ve been with this person for so long, I can’t leave now,” and this reasoning is precisely why someone should leave now, rather than wait.  The more time we spend hoping things will change, the more we buy into this reasoning.  Worse yet, there’s less time that could be spent with the person that you were meant to be with.  In a lot of ways, it is like the gambler who spends all his money thinking, “I’ve already lost so much money–I’m bound to win soon!”

For some, it is the fear that they won’t find someone else, and that they will be doomed to a life of loneliness and a house full of cats for the rest of their lives.  Obviously, this isn’t true, and there are a lot of dating sites like and that do offer plenty of opportunities to find someone who better fits your needs and your personality.  Forcing something is rarely the right choice, and a marriage is no different.  It should be a natural, comfortable fit that fills you with joy at the thought of a life together, not dread and resentment.  Marriage is supposed to be a joyous union, a joining of souls, that improves the quality of life for both people involved.

No one in their right mind signs up to be a mental, emotional, or physical punching bag for the other person.  If this is a prolonged pattern, then the timing for when to divorce has long since passed, and clearly the respect and love needed for a functional marriage is not there, nor is there much hope of change.  There is absolutely no reason why you should sell yourself short and consign yourself to a life of misery and fear.  At the very worst, the current pattern ends, and there is hope for a new beginning.

Dating divorced men and women is different in that these people have had to make that same hard choice, but knew that it was necessary and perhaps may be able to find a common bond.  There are plenty of people out there that had to go through the process, but made it to the other side and found new lives for themselves.  Now, it is your turn.  If you’ve been thinking of giving divorce dating a try, then that in and of itself is a sign that things are not looking too good.

Don’t Divorce Me! Kids’ Rules For Parents On Divorce


Divorces can be messy, and when children are involved, especially those under the age of 5, it can become even messier to say the least. Before filing for divorce, parents typically struggle to find a happy medium in order to decide what’s best for their children in times of dissolution. Sometimes the children are the ones that have the answers, no matter how young.

In a new HBO documentary entitled, Don’t Divorce Me! Kids’ Rules For Parents On Divorce, produced by Rosie O’Donnell, kids give off the cuff and uncanny divorce advice to their parents, all of whom are in the divorce process or have recently gone through a divorce. By combining candid interviews, drawings, songs and photos, this insightful film gives kids a chance to share poignant stories of how divorce has impacted their lives, and offer helpful advice to their parents. The film is scheduled to air on September, 20th at  6:30pm.

The film is unique in that it’s a first in seeing, hearing and trying to understand divorce from the side of the children, who unfortunately often get left in the dark on most of the “adult” decisions being made. Divorce affects children in a number of ways, especially those children who are young and still developing mentally. The children who are interviewed vary in age from five to ten years old, giving the film a broad spectrum of knowledge and understanding on the situation, as well as varying responses to the same questions. These young children tell their stories to remind parents that divorce and the resulting splitting of time, home and family is hard on them, but there are ways to make things better.

It’s so easy to forget that divorce affects so many people in so many different ways. If we learn anything from this film and the unbiased pure remarks from the children involved, it’s that approaching the situation with poise, calm and respect is the key.

Divorce is no walk in the park and so why not do all you can as an adult to make the situation as smooth and stress free as possible? The film also explores different ways in which parents can come to mutual agreements on things like child custody and support, money, houses and other assets. Take a different approach to divorce, for years, children have been left in the dark and out in the cold. Do not take their youth for granted, many children are astute to the ongoings of adult relationships, and can sometimes offer the best words of wisdom and reason. If anything, this movie should open your eyes and make you ask yourself, “am I handling this situation to the best of my ability, and am I thinking of my children in the process?”

Cold Feet Lead To Chilly Divorce

Marriage is an incredibly large step in anyone’s relationship. Once you finally take that plunge and decide to do it their are a lot of things that need to be taken into consideration. It’s been said that “cold feet” or questions and concerns before saying “I do”, are normal for every couple. However, it has now been discovered that not everyone does have these second thought before walking down the aisle, and if you do,  you’re headed for divorce.

A psychological study performed at UCLA on divorce, showed that, newlywed wives who had doubts about getting married before their wedding were two and a half times more likely to divorce four years later than wives who had no doubts at all prior to marriage. Among couples still married after four years, husbands and wives with doubts were significantly less satisfied with their marriage than those without doubts.

Interviews were conducted in order to gather research for these statistics and some of the numbers reported were staggering.

  • 47% of men were unsure or had doubts before getting married, compared to 38% of women.
  • 19% percent of wives who reported doubts before marriage were divorced four years later. 8% of women who did not report doubts, were divorced four years later. For husbands, those figures were 14% and 9%, respectively.
  • 36% of couples, found that both partners said they had no doubts before the wedding, and of those, just 6% got divorced by the four-year mark.
  • 20% of couples in which both spouses reported premarital doubts, got divorced. Of couples in which only the husband reported doubts, 10% got divorced, compared with 18% of couples who got divorced when only the wife had doubts.

The findings from the research are due to be published in the Journal of Family Psychology. Yes, the percentages and numbers are all over the map, but every couple is different, so the numbers won’t always apply to you specifically; doubts or no doubts. This being said and as one of the leading online divorce forms websites, divorce is a reality in today’s society and you are not alone if you fall into this category. This is just a good wealth of information to know when entering into nuptials. Everyone has doubts.

Omit at Your Own Cost in the State of Oregon


The distribution of assets during a divorce is imminent in the majority of cases. Also in a majority of cases comes the wave of hurt, disappointment and distrust. So what do you do if you think that a spouse is concealing assets during the settlement process? Sometimes individuals are curious about their obligations to disclose assets in divorce. There are many discovery tools available to lawyers to help discover assets a party may own, so it’s never a good idea for anyone to intentionally conceal anything during a divorce. There are also serious ethical consequences for lawyers that assist clients in concealing assets during divorce. Every state has its own varying laws and statutes on this particular matter but Oregon has a finite list of rules to follow in regards to assets.

Oregon Law

Under Oregon Divorce Law ORS 107.452, that states “A court that entered a judgment of marital annulment, dissolution or separation shall reopen the case upon the motion of either party if the moving party alleges that significant assets belonging to either or both of the parties:(a) Existed at the time of the entry of the judgment; and (b) Were not discovered until after the entry of the judgment. However, If the assets were accidentally or inadvertently omitted from the distribution,the court will divide the asset using the same legal standard as if the asset were discovered prior to the divorce. The court will determine whether or not the assets were omitted purposely or accidentally depending on the evidence provided, and this varies on a case to case basis.

Penalties & Distributions

Now, If the court does find evidence of intentional concealment, it can and will, do a number of different things such as:

  • Demand and order a division of the appreciated value of the omitted assets
  • Award the forfeiture of the omitted assets to the injured party (the spouse who had assets concealed from them)
  • Put in place a compensatory judgment in favor of the injured party
  • Order judgment in favor of the injured party as punitive damages; or any other distribution as may be just and proper in all the circumstances.

It is highly important that when going through a divorce, all of the proper paperwork is filled out, all assets, debts and properties are recorded and anything else that you feel may be pertinent to your case, be brought up and documented. No matter how big, or how small you may think the issue is. As you can see, some of the repercussions for not openly displaying everything up front can be harsh. These divorce laws in Oregon are just a few that can drastically and dramatically affect a divorce. Know all information and laws before really delving into anything, just as with being informed on anything, research is key.

Disecting The Finances of Gray Divorce


Gray divorce has been a hot topic in the news as of late, as the nation has seen a rise in the amount of those fitting into the age bracket of 55+ divorcing at a higher rate in the last year. The topic has been dissected by everyone in the media, trying to come up with reasonable explanations as to why after so many years, these people are starting to go their separate ways. however, nobody has really broken down the ins and outs of just how and what happens to the other important items  in a marriage of those who are senior citizens.

Age Brings Assets

One of the first things to think of are the assets for both spouses. We accumulate an abundance of things as we go through our lives, so naturally the older you are, the more you have. Finances too; many of those in the gray divorce category are retired and live off IRA’s and retirement funds, some even off social security. The big questions is, what happens to that?

Divorce and Social Security

The government has put in place a number of specific guidelines in terms of those receiving Social Security. When a divorce occurs, there are a few slight changes as to who and how much is received. If you are age 62 years or older, were married 10 years or more, and are currently unmarried, and you are not entitled to receive a higher benefit based on your own work, you can receive benefits based on your ex’s earnings, even if he or she remarried. If both spouses worked, the lower earner may receive benefits based on the higher earner’s work. If you have never worked, you can collect benefits on your ex spouses work, and your ex is still eligible to collect what he or she has earned over the years.The longer you wait to collect divorced spousal benefits, up to your full retirement age, the higher your benefit will be.

So, this may be a lot to remember for gray divorce law but knowing these things in regards to your finances will help. Grey divorce can be tricky as there are typically more factors involved in the process of filing and obtaining a divorce than for someone of a lower age or who isn’t retired.

All in Order
It is important to take preventative and protective measures during a marriage so that if the day does come where a dissolution of marriage occurs, both parties are comfortably financially stable. Be an active participant in your family finances and you’ll establish the know-how and confidence to better succeed after the divorce is finalized. Make sure you fully understand your share of all assets and that all the details are clearly spelled out in your divorce settlement agreement.

Prominent Novelist Offers Reflective insight on Divorce


Divorces can be intensely personal. The breakdown of something design for happiness for ever can feel like a weight on one’s life and past decisions. The reality of a family breaking apart, the process and the attempt at the next phase after divorce can be a draining period in one’s life. For those gifted with the skill of writing this can become a rich area for reflection. Memoirs often encompass periods of tragedy, delving into one’s own personal failures and low points allows all of us to relate to the natural ebb and flow of ups and downs that personal choices can bring.

Recently, prominent British author Rachel Cusk released a memoir book chronicling her recent marriage and subsequent break up. She is well known throughout the UK and has had fiction as well as prominent non-fiction works published. This recent memoir titled Aftermath: On Marriage and Separation deals with her reflections on her marriage, separation and divorce, having 2 children, and how to move forward.

Displaying the personal for the world

Rachel Cusk’s first personal memoir published in 2003 chronicled her personal experience into motherhood. Writing a brutally honest reflective piece she became a target for backlash calling her “petty”, “self-absorbed” and a bad mother. It became a staple of honest motherhood books and was subsequently copied by many other women.

It can be a daunting thing putting ones personal life to the public, especially when it has to do with doubt, failure, and personal hurt. Her new memoir chronicling the breakdown of her marriage, separation and divorce offers another raw glimpse into a deep reflective thinker as she trudges through a familiar painful process.

Relate-able pains

Obviously slanted through the female prospective, “Aftermath” and books like it can provide a deeply relate-able example to other mothers that go through the divorce process. Aftermath deals deep emotional issues, depression and Cusk’s thought on feministic ideas throughout family relationship, through her own eyes. Her questioning nature and self doubt, even as a highly educated and successful women, can serve as an example for women questioning their past, present, and future when considering or even just entering into the divorce process. Everyone feels some sense of comfort when we know there are others struggling with the same serious issues in their life. Regardless of professional critiques of Aftermath: On Marriage and Separation, the introspective nature of Cusk’s writing, as raw and unabashed as it is can potentially be the kind of personal crutch that recently divorced women need to let them know they truly are not alone with their worry and fears after something as emotional trying as divorce.

Harboring sorrow and guilt over personal situations such as divorce is natural. Many divorced couples often seek therapy individually. Having a relate-able objective person to listen can go a long way in easing the psychological pains that can often permeate a person’s mind after an emotional split of a family. We can often find relief in the literary pages of other people’s similar situations. We hear stats about how thousands of couples are divorced every year, yet the divorce process can seem so constricted within one’s own world. Divorce is common enough where support groups, message boards, and friends in a circle should be able to help support someone going through a divorce. Being there for someone can mean infinitely more to them then they may realize.