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Cold Feet Lead To Chilly Divorce

Marriage is an incredibly large step in anyone’s relationship. Once you finally take that plunge and decide to do it their are a lot of things that need to be taken into consideration. It’s been said that “cold feet” or questions and concerns before saying “I do”, are normal for every couple. However, it has now been discovered that not everyone does have these second thought before walking down the aisle, and if you do,  you’re headed for divorce.

A psychological study performed at UCLA on divorce, showed that, newlywed wives who had doubts about getting married before their wedding were two and a half times more likely to divorce four years later than wives who had no doubts at all prior to marriage. Among couples still married after four years, husbands and wives with doubts were significantly less satisfied with their marriage than those without doubts.

Interviews were conducted in order to gather research for these statistics and some of the numbers reported were staggering.

  • 47% of men were unsure or had doubts before getting married, compared to 38% of women.
  • 19% percent of wives who reported doubts before marriage were divorced four years later. 8% of women who did not report doubts, were divorced four years later. For husbands, those figures were 14% and 9%, respectively.
  • 36% of couples, found that both partners said they had no doubts before the wedding, and of those, just 6% got divorced by the four-year mark.
  • 20% of couples in which both spouses reported premarital doubts, got divorced. Of couples in which only the husband reported doubts, 10% got divorced, compared with 18% of couples who got divorced when only the wife had doubts.

The findings from the research are due to be published in the Journal of Family Psychology. Yes, the percentages and numbers are all over the map, but every couple is different, so the numbers won’t always apply to you specifically; doubts or no doubts. This being said and as one of the leading online divorce forms websites, divorce is a reality in today’s society and you are not alone if you fall into this category. This is just a good wealth of information to know when entering into nuptials. Everyone has doubts.

Disecting The Finances of Gray Divorce


Gray divorce has been a hot topic in the news as of late, as the nation has seen a rise in the amount of those fitting into the age bracket of 55+ divorcing at a higher rate in the last year. The topic has been dissected by everyone in the media, trying to come up with reasonable explanations as to why after so many years, these people are starting to go their separate ways. however, nobody has really broken down the ins and outs of just how and what happens to the other important items  in a marriage of those who are senior citizens.

Age Brings Assets

One of the first things to think of are the assets for both spouses. We accumulate an abundance of things as we go through our lives, so naturally the older you are, the more you have. Finances too; many of those in the gray divorce category are retired and live off IRA’s and retirement funds, some even off social security. The big questions is, what happens to that?

Divorce and Social Security

The government has put in place a number of specific guidelines in terms of those receiving Social Security. When a divorce occurs, there are a few slight changes as to who and how much is received. If you are age 62 years or older, were married 10 years or more, and are currently unmarried, and you are not entitled to receive a higher benefit based on your own work, you can receive benefits based on your ex’s earnings, even if he or she remarried. If both spouses worked, the lower earner may receive benefits based on the higher earner’s work. If you have never worked, you can collect benefits on your ex spouses work, and your ex is still eligible to collect what he or she has earned over the years.The longer you wait to collect divorced spousal benefits, up to your full retirement age, the higher your benefit will be.

So, this may be a lot to remember for gray divorce law but knowing these things in regards to your finances will help. Grey divorce can be tricky as there are typically more factors involved in the process of filing and obtaining a divorce than for someone of a lower age or who isn’t retired.

All in Order
It is important to take preventative and protective measures during a marriage so that if the day does come where a dissolution of marriage occurs, both parties are comfortably financially stable. Be an active participant in your family finances and you’ll establish the know-how and confidence to better succeed after the divorce is finalized. Make sure you fully understand your share of all assets and that all the details are clearly spelled out in your divorce settlement agreement.

Illinois Divorce Law FAQ’s


There are always questions when delving into the dark uncharted waters of divorce, from both spouses. There are no questions that have not been asked before, since the dawn and creation of divorce itself. Going into anything blind and unknowing is never a good idea, so asking questions is the best way to become versed in the laws that are in effect in your state. Illinois divorce laws are unique in that specific and detailed laws must be abided by in order to properly file for and obtain a dissolution to ones marriage. Some of these laws are obscure and become overlooked in the process, sometimes hurting those who are filing. Therefore, here are list of some of the more frequently asked questions and some answers pertaining to the laws they coincide with.

Attorney Etiquette

Often times, it is normal for a couple to use just one attorney for the divorce process. This makes sense, as the lawyer was probably the person that represented both parties when they were together. This being said, Illinois divorce laws prohibit one party representing both spouses in a divorce case. It is important that this law be abided by and one party agrees to find representation elsewhere.

Post Divorce Dating

In Illinois divorce laws under the Family Law Court system clearly state that, your spouse can present evidence about any affairs you had even if the affair didn’t start until after the case was filed or after you separated. This means, be careful of when you decide to truly move on and “date” post divorce. The best thing to do, in order to cover all bases here and avoid any technicalities is to wait until you have papers in your hands, signed, clearly stating that your divorce is finalized. Waiting a few months for this is far better than being slammed with allegations of an extramarital affair on the account of a technicality.

Separation to Divorce

In the instance of a no-fault, uncontested divorce in the state of Illinois, divorce law states that, If both the spouses have agreed to a separation and the divorce is irretrievably broken on no fault grounds then the Illinois divorce law requires a 2 year separation. In certain cases this period has been reduced to 6 months, this change in the amount of time, is all dependent on the case and the specifics surrounding it.

Proper Documentation
Always remember that proper documentation is needed when filing for divorce. It is important that you find the right forms for your state and sometimes even more specifically for your county if needed. Coming to a place like is the best way to alleviate stress and confusion as far as knowing what papers to have and how to complete them. This is one of the most common pitfalls, easily avoided by those filing for divorce, all i a few easy steps. Be in the know, do your research and stay up to date.

Divorce and the Military: What You Need to Know


We constantly look with respect towards our military personnel. Some of these brave men and women sacrifice everything to protect the very rights and freedoms we hold dear in this great nation. We often forget that after, before, and during their active duty, these men and women also juggle personal lives. Relationships, finances, and happiness are not put on hold while they serve our country.

There are also many factions of the military, having a family while being an active member or stationed somewhere can be a strain on one’s life. Being in a faction of the military adds extra rules and restrictions to a person’s life. When it comes to divorce in the military there may be some stipulations different from regular citizenship. Knowing your situation and how the divorce process pertains to it will help ease this stressful process.

Residency Requirements and the USFSPA

Legally speaking, divorce applies the same way it does to any other non-military citizen. However, when it comes to residency issues when applying for divorce, many states will relax some of the residency requirements and stipulations allowing for active military personnel that are stationed around the country and remote places to file for a divorce in the place they are stationed.

Besides knowing the divorce process, military couples should understand and be knowledgeable about the United Services Former Spouses’ Protection Act (USFSPA). This s a federal stature implemented for military personal that is a guide for potential divorce couples that have either one, or both, members in the military. It says that the divorcing spouses should look to accept the state’s specific divorce rulings and laws on specific issues in the dissolution of a marriage. Mainly child support, spousal support, and military/retirement pension plans. One important USFSPA stature is that, while states have always viewed retirement and pension plans as like any other marital asset, the USFSPA allows states to classify military retirement pay as property instead of income.

Pensions and Retirement: How Military Benefits are Handled in Divorce

Retirement payments through the military are paid directly through the Defense Accounting and Finance Service. For an ex-spouse to be eligible to receive retirement payments, the couple must have been married 10 years combined with an overlapping 10 years of military service. For example, if a couple have been married 14 years and 8 of those years either of the spousal parties have served in the military, then the ex-spouse would not be eligible to receive retirement payments.

Another situation to watch for is how different states view the amount of time a marriage has been deemed to last. Depending on the states view of when the dissolution of a marriage happened, it may change the length of official time your marriage has lasted for and, consequently, could possibly change what benefits you or your spouse are eligible for. However, not being eligible for direct payment as an ex-spouse does not necessarily mean you may not be entitled to a portion. Throughout the divorce proceedings, an agreement can be reached by the divorcing parties to divide a retirement/pension. Usually the awarding of retirement military pay may be in addition to child support or spousal support.

No matter the external situation in a couple’s life, divorce can cause major upheaval. With so many specific laws pertaining to where you are and how long you have been married, it is important to know the rules and regulations that may influence your divorce. At MyDivorceDocuments, we can provide insightful information to help you understand exactly what challenges, legal or otherwise you could possibly face throughout the divorce process. Visit today and arm yourself with the knowledge that can lessen your stress about going through the divorce process.

California’s Most Misunderstood Divorce Laws


The ins and outs of any law can be detailed and confusing to anyone, especially anyone not practicing law. Therefore there are a bounty of misconceptions that come along with understanding any law. When these laws involve divorce, they can become infinitely more difficult to navigate and properly understand. Anything from property, assets, debts, child custody, alimony and more, are typically involved in divorce filing and proceedings. In California, the laws are just as hard to understand as anywhere else in the U.S. This being said, it is one of the states that has the most people confused about certain laws and asking the most questions. For that reasons, here are the top 5 questions asked in reference to divorce Laws in the Golden State, answered and debunked.

If we have a joint account that has occurred debt but my name is not on the credit card,  do I owe this debt incurred during marriage?

Marriages are seen as business partnerships under the law. The old adage, “what’s yours is mine” rings true for this frequently asked question. You can ultimately be held accountable for the debts that either spouse incurred during the marriage. This legal rule is put into effect in this manner because it in turn protects creditors from a spouse claiming that the debt acquired during the marriage belongs to the other person and not to them. If the debt was incurred while married, it does not matter whose name is listed on the credit cards.

If we have equal custody, does child support still need to be paid?

When parents share custody of children, even if the court has mandated that the custody is 50/50, child support can be ordered by the court. Gross incomes of both parties and actual timeshare of the child have the biggest impact on this decision. If the incomes of the parents are not almost equally matched, there will be some kind of child support exposure for the greater earner.

How long should I wait until I get remarried?

It is imperative that you get a court to issue a judgment that terminates your marital status before you pursue anything as far as another legal marriage. The earliest you can terminate your marriage and be returned to the status of a single person is 6 months from the date a filed divorce  petition is served on the other spouse and no sooner.

If either of us remarry, does the child support amount increase or decrease?

The simple answer to this question is that the income of a new spouse or partner of a parent obligated to pay support cannot be used as a factor to reduce child support.

Do you have to be married for at least 10 years to get a part of your ex-spouse’s pension rights?

Any of the earnings that are acquired from the date of marriage to the date of separation is considered community property. This means that under the law, all money acquired and used towards retirement benefits, pensions, profit sharing and stocks, will be community.  The length of marriage has no bearing on your right to the community property acquired from date of marriage to date of separation. The moment you are legally married, is when those rights go into effect.

There are a number of other questions that are commonly asked when California divorce is brought into question, however these ones are some of the top questions that are often misconstrued when answered. Hopefully these condensed answers have helped you with any questions or concerns you may have. Remember, your local courthouse that specializes in family law, will always be able to help you with these types of questions or concerns.

Montana Divorce Law: the Declaration of Invalidity

A declaration of invalidity is used in family law to declare a marriage void, essentially declaring that the marriage lacks an element required for a legal union. Montana Divorce Law allows that a marriage may be declared invalid if specific circumstances concerning the marriage are shown to exist. These circumstances must be proven in a court of law. As a general rule, a marriage can be declared invalid if the circumstances of the consent to enter a marriage are shown to be lacking. A Montana court can also declare a marriage to be invalid if the marriage is prohibited by law.

Divorce Law as it Relates in Montana

Law 40-1-402 under the Family Law Statute in the state of Montana, clearly outlines the specifics in order to obtain a court to sign off on a declaration of invalidity in a marriage. The written decree, goes into all of the possible ways in which this invalidity must be shown and thus will be granted by the courts. There are over 16 stipulations in which a couple qualifies, however, they all have sub sections that weed out any couples who do not. Invalidity is not as common as a common grounds divorce, due to these small minute details.

Stipulations in a Nutshell

Of these multiple rules and small addendum’s, they can be comprised under a few easy to read categories, as such.
If one party to a marriage lacks consent, or lacks the ability to consent to the marriage at the time that the marriage occurred, a court may declare a marriage invalid. A person may lack the ability to consent to a marriage because of mental incapacity or illness or if the person is under the influence of an incapacitating substances at the time of the marriage. Once again, proof of this must be had, otherwise the courts will not consent to the invalidity.

A person also lacks consent if he or she was induced to enter into a marriage by force or duress or by fraud. If a person lacks the physical capacity to consummate the marriage by sexual intercourse, and at the time that the marriage was entered into, the other party did not know of the incapacity, the marriage may also be declared invalid.

The Marriage of Minors

If a person is under 16 years of age, or if a person was 16 or 17 years of age and that person did not have the consent of the party’s parents or the approval of a district court judge the appropriate consent to bind a person to marriage is also lacking.

A marriage is prohibited under Montana law if:

  • One of the parties is presently married to someone else;
  • The parties are brother and a sister, or otherwise related by the half or the whole blood, or the parties are first cousins;
  • The parties are related as an uncle and a niece or between an aunt and a nephew; or,
  • The marriage is between persons of the same sex.

Always be sure that when you are filing for invalidity of a marriage, particularly in the state of Montana, you know all of the criteria to qualify. Not doing so can lead to unnecessary fees and filing of paperwork that isn’t needed. Be informed and be prepared.

Common Divorce Law Terms Defined


Properly understanding and becoming knowledgeable in anything takes time. Research, studying and fully immersing oneself into something is the only way to truly pick up all the relevant information needed to know enough on anything. Divorce is no different. Attorneys who specialize in family law have studied for years to become as well informed on the subject as they are. Filing for divorce can be an emotionally trying event and process in general. However, going into it, knowing some of the basics is a much better way to enter, than going in and not knowing anything about anything. There are terms, laws, details and specific stipulations that are unique to each individual state. Some courts rule differently on the same issues due to this. Knowing some of the lingo and the processes for some of the most common occurrences in Family Law is a good way to get filled in and begin to understand just how divorce works. So, here are a few terms explained and dissected to help you along the way.

Petition for Dissolution of Marriage
This is a pleading document, filed with the court that initiates the divorce process. The person filing the Petition is called the Petitioner and they are the ones who are asking the court to dissolve their marriage or to legally sign off on the divorce requested.This petition must be filed to get the divorce process started. Without this form, no filing can begin, this is single-handedly the most important document in the process.

Marital Settlement Agreement (MSA)
This document, commonly known as the MSA , is the end goal of every divorce.  It is a contract entered into between the parties in question in the divorce filing.  It’s purpose is to draw specific guidelines between both parties as to how all of the community and separate assets and debts will be divided amongst them. It also addresses alimony if this is necessary, this varies on a case to case basis. The Marital Settlement Agreement is usually adopted as an order of the court by entry of the Final Decree of Dissolution of Marriage, which means that it can be enforced not only as a contract, but as a court order. In the event that the parties cannot agree on the terms of the MSA, the case will be set for trial by the courts. In cases such as this, assets and the like are divided up as the courts see fit, and sometimes both parties do not come away with property that they had hoped or expected to. This is another reason why the MSA is beneficial.

Final Decree of Dissolution of Marriage
This document is filed at the end of the divorce process; this is essentially the closing of the book, whereas the petition for dissolution is the opening. It is an order entered by the court granting the Petitioner a divorce from the Respondent. The final decree generally describes each party’s rights and responsibilities after the divorce with respect to property, debts and custody of any children. It essentially maps out absolutely everything for both parties, wiping out any type of discrepancies, concerns or anything of that nature. The details of those rights and responsibilities are typically laid out in an MSA or Parenting Plan, which the Final Decree incorporates by reference and adopts as an order of the court.

These terms and definitions should help you along the way. Getting to know the law is far from an easy process, however, learning small pieces of information such as these can really help you as you go through the process. It’s your duty to yourself to fully understand just what is happening in the entire filing process. Legal representation will be there to help you along the way should you opt for it, but it will do nothing but bolster your side of the case if you know the lay of the land.

Weird but True Divorce Stories from around the Web


Love can make people crazy; the world provides us many examples. Divorce however can induce behaviors that go beyond the scope of any sense of normal rational thinking. Even though it is the process of breaking up a bad or fruitless marriage people getting divorce sometimes feel to go out with a bang instead of agreeing this was a mistake and parting ways. The tug and war within relationships, even those entering the divorce process, excuse me, especially going through the divorce process can provide some hilariously disastrous results. If you’re going through a divorce or having a rough time processing the end of your marriage take a look at some of these extreme examples when keeping it real at the of the divorce process goes wrong.

Kid-ney or not kid-ney

We’ve all heard of returning wedding rings, or the splitting of assets and other such positions when divorces arise in couples. Here’s that scenario with a slightly organ-ic twist. A long island surgeon donated a kidney to his wife in 2001 which saved her life. After being embroiled in a bitter divorce for 4 years, part of his settlement was that he either wanted his kidney back from his wife or be handsomely compensated for it.  A separation over custody of body parts, that’s a new one. In his defense, the wife did admit to having an affair.

Mommy dearest

Being tight with your family is always a good thing. It’s always nice when you’re close to your parents, even as you get older, move out and attempt to start a family of your own. However there is a line that you generally don’t cross. In the realm of “What in the world were they thinking” marriage moments, an Italian groom decided he wasn’t ready to part with his dear mother yet, so he did what any normal person would do and brought her with him on his honeymoon with his new wife. Needles to say the wife filed for divorce shortly after citing “excessive emotional attachment.” In the man’s defense he claimed he couldn’t leave his mother alone for “health reasons.” But for guys, as a general rule, leave your mom at home when you’re going on your honeymoon, just to be safe.

Bird Chatter

Just when you think no one is listening in. A woman in China filed for divorce after suspecting and then getting confirmation that her husband was having an affair. The odd part is how she ultimately was convinced. The couple owned a pet Mynah bird, after some time she kept hearing the bird say things like “divorce” “I love you” and “be patient.” She also claimed the bird become increasingly talkative whenever the phone rang. Just goes to show you that you can’t always trust your pets with secrets.

Every relationship, failing or not has a different dynamic. Some are just taken to more extreme places then others. Reality can sometimes surprise us in its bizarreness.

Divorce can be no laughing matter to most people going through it. Crazy divorce stories aside, there are many different divorce laws created for divorce proceedings. In the United States each state has separate rules and stipulations involving the divorce process. Knowing the possibilities and preparing the future can help alleviate some of the stress that you might be going through. To learn about the laws in your state, or to begin your divorce process online, visit

Common Law Divorce: Myths Debunked

As more states begin to adopt into their laws the notion and recognition of common law marriage, naturally the notion of divorce is also going to appear. The U.S has an alarmingly high rate of divorce, and those of the same sex who are joined in matrimony are no exception. In some states, individuals can live together for a particular number of years and will be recognized by the state as “married,” even if they’ve  never had a legal wedding ceremony. Therefore, when those couples split up, it’s necessary to receive a common law divorce. By understanding the basics of common law divorce, individuals can learn how to obtain one.

Full Faith & Credit Clause
FFAC is the name usually given  to Article IV, Section 1 of the United States Constitution. This Clause addresses the duties that states within the United States have to respect the “public acts, records, and judicial proceedings of every other state.” The clause’s application to state recognized and legal, same-sex marriages, civil unions, and domestic partnerships is however, unresolved, and so too is its relationship to the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) and the proposed Federal Marriage Amendment. As of the present, 39 states passed laws and constitutional amendments that define marriage as consisting solely of a man and a woman. Most explicitly prohibit the state from honoring same-sex marriages performed in other states and countries

Obtaining a Common Law Divorce

Now, even though there are some states that do not legally recognize common law marriages, there are states that do, all under certain circumstances. Only eleven states in the U.S. have provision for common law marriages, so unless you live or previously lived in one of those states with your partner under the conditions described by that state’s laws for the formation of a common law marriage, you’re not legally married and thus don’t have to file for divorce. Once a couple has been recognized as married through the common law marriage, they must obtain a divorce in exactly the same way a legally married couple would. They will have to petition the courts to work out issues such as child custody, division of assets and property.

Many hear “Common Law” and automatically think that the divorce process will be different for divorce amongst same sex couples. The opposite is true of this. In fact, obtaining legal certification of marriage between same sex couples is far more difficult than dissolving a marriage. This is due to the fact that many states simply do not legally recognize the act. There are so many myths and falsities floating through the subject of this, and to set the record straight, is to say that divorce, no matter who the spouses are, is entirely the same.

Technology: Changing Family Law Forever

Technology rules the world, plain and simple. Technology has its hand in everything in today’s day and age. It was only a matter of time before new laws were drawn up and integrated into the new and rapid growth of electronics and technology in the world. Divorce rates continue to grow in the U.S, just as the laws do. So it should be no surprise that new