Category : Do It Yourself Divorce

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Do-It-Yourself Divorce: Coping With Separation Stress And Transitioning

Unreasonable BehaviorEven with a “low-stress” do-it-yourself divorce, you’ll probably find that there is a lot more pressure than you initially think.

Divorce upsets the ecosystem of our lives. Sometimes the fallout is better; sometimes it can be worse. The problem is, when you’re just getting used to being on your own again, you don’t know which it will be. That uncertainty brings with it a lot of negative feelings and stress with which it can be hard to deal.

How you handle the pre-separation and transitioning phases will set a positive tone for your DIY divorce, and it will place you well on your way to a healthy recovery. Here are some steps you can take to get where you need to be:

1. Engage in deep relaxation methods.

If you can’t afford professional hypnosis or a yoga class, there are plenty of resources for putting these methods to work in other more affordable ways. It may not produce the same effect, but it’ll certainly help if you’re committed. Check the apps on your smartphone, read, or just set aside time each day to lay down, clear your thoughts, and use deep breathing techniques. Isolate yourself from sounds and other distractions and just meditate. You’d be surprised at the difference one hour or even 30 minutes a day can make.

2. Exercise routinely. 

It’s common knowledge that we feel more composed and healthier when exercise is a daily part of our lives. So why do we fight it so much? It all boils down to habit. If you can force routine exercise into your daily routine, then the positive effects will take over before you know it. The important thing is to start and not stop. And if you have stopped, then it’s time to lace up the shoes and head to the track or weight room.

3. Eat right. 

Comfort foods may lift your spirits when you’re feeling down, but they do very little to improve your long-term attitude and health. Like liquor, they can also become habit forming. While no one will fault you for having the occasional cheat-night, make it the exception to the rule.

4. Keep contacts with your ex professional. 

Remember you’re no longer in a relationship once you file for divorce, so stop acting like you are. It may seem cold and impersonal at first, but in the end, you and your ex will be the better for shifting gears from husband and wife to partners in an amicable divorce.

These four steps will help you through the awkwardness and uncertainty of separating and transitioning to single life after being married. Stick to them, and a new and happier you will emerge. Best of luck!

Not Working On Your Relationship: A Big Driver Of Do-It-Yourself Divorce

Most marriages can be savedIt’s a bit surprising that so many couples enter into marriage without ever facing the possibilities that it could one day end in divorce. On the one hand, you don’t want to think about a marriage ending when you’re going in to it, but at the same time, this mindset can lead to taking each other for granted.

Before long, you grow apart because you haven’t taken the time to work on the relationship. Stagnating like this happens to be a big driver of do-it-yourself divorce, where couples grow apart before ever realizing that anything is wrong with the relationship.

If this isn’t the fate that you want for your marriage (or future relationships), here are some suggestions to prevent it from happening.

First, Experience Life Separately. 

While this may seem counterproductive to working on your relationship, it really isn’t. Most couples, who end up deciding to file for divorce, do so because they never have a chance to miss each other. Losing sight of what makes you unique as a person can devalue the time you spend together. When you have nothing to share with each other, communication becomes more difficult because you feel like you’ve already heard the other’s stories. When communication breaks down, so does the marriage or relationship.

Secondly, Always Have Something To Look Forward To. 

Nobody can fault you for falling into the routines of life and work. These routines are necessary for personal growth and fulfillment. However, if all you ever do is the same thing over and over again, boredom can take hold of the relationship and drive you both toward a divorce. To combat this danger, always have a trip or event that you can look forward to — something you both enjoy that allows you to take a break from your busy life and experience new adventures together. It could be a cruise or a wine festival. Just have something always on the radar, and you’ll always have each other in your lives.

Finally, Address Problems As They Arise. 

Fighting may sound like a bad thing, but it’s really the only way that you can learn conflict resolution as a couple. Don’t avoid arguments when they arise. Be heard, but also, be respectful. It may make for an unpleasant evening, but it will keep you away from divorce.

If your relationship is past the point of help and you’re ready to undertake a DIY divorce, let us help you get started today. Our court-approved forms and easy compiling/filing process will take the work out of your hands and help you hold on to more of your money.

Disagreements That Can Keep You From A DIY Divorce

dream cheatingAs a do-it-yourself divorce service, we see a lot of parties who are interested in filing on their own, but many end up having to go to court even though it isn’t their first preference. That’s because they don’t have an agreeable spouse and there is too much conflict to move forward. We’ve always said that DIY divorce is only for a certain type of couple: the kind who can treat the procedure as a business transaction rather than an emotional war. Today we thought we’d share a glimpse of what some of the disagreements are that so often derail this type of divorce.

First: Child Custody Agreements

According to our research, children are usually factors in around 52 percent of divorce cases. Most of the time, one parent is awarded primary custody while the other must pay child support as the non-custodial parent. In many cases, this doesn’t set well with the non-custodial party because they love their child and would rather be in a custodial role. The disagreement can lead to bitterness and courtroom drama, and it can place the child at the center of it all in a tug-of-war they’re not emotionally prepared for. Unfortunately, one or both parties are too blinded by revenge to consider what they’re doing to the child.

Secondly: Child Support

Other than simply wanting custody or wanting more visitation time, the non-custodial parent will often find themselves in the position of having to pay child support. This can create a two-sided conflict. For the non-custodial parent, it’s about paying more for less time spent with their child. For the custodial parent, it’s the perception of not receiving enough support to adequately cover childcare costs. Seeing eye-to-eye on these issues isn’t easy, and if the parents can’t agree, then lawyers will most likely be necessary.

Thirdly: Alimony

In many cases of divorce, one partner fights for alimony, or continued financial support from the second partner, even when children are not involved in the breakup. The construct is built on the idea that both partners sacrifice in a marriage. If one partner did not work outside the home, but instead gave up opportunities to stay at home and raise the children, this can win the sympathy of judges upon reaching a final decision. The payor, however, may see things differently, and may not be fond of the idea that they have to continue to support someone with whom they may no longer be able to stay in the same room as.

The decision to file for divorce is often plagued by conflict — the kind that can cost you time in a lawyer’s office and run up a hefty bill. DIY divorce is a better alternative, but make sure issues like those listed above can be resolved amicably before proceeding.

Open Mindedness In A DIY Divorce, Illustrated

closed eys, open mind in marriageA new infographic on Huffington Post illustrating what happens to your house in a divorce highlights the opportunities that one can utilize for keeping out of court and bettering the odds of a conflict-free do-it-yourself divorce.

The graphic, link here, starts with a simple question:

What To Do With The House In A Divorce? 

From there a series of questions are presented with appropriate pathways drawn to the next step in the process should you answer Yes or No.

  • Does either party want to keep the house?
  • Are there sufficient assets for one party to be able to buy out the other?
  • Can either party afford to keep the house?
  • Do parties agree on value of the house?

Each of these questions have a different step in the process depending on the Y or N. For instance, if neither party wants to keep the house when they decide to file for divorce, they can simply sell it and divide the proceeds. Easy enough, right?

But if one does want to keep it, what happens then? Well, a value for the home must be agreed upon by both parties in order to maintain equitable distribution of assets. If that value cannot be agreed upon after a third party appraisal, then the case will likely head to trial.

However, being able to use outside help such as appraisers and mediators for any type of conflict that arises will improve chances of a successful DIY divorce.

It’s About Keeping An Open Mind. 

By simply asking yourself what you’re willing to negotiate on, you can keep your mind open throughout the entire process. This could lead to being able to divorce without the added financial burden of attorney’s fees and continued fighting as conflict surrounding the end of a marriage tends to perpetually create.

As you consider the alternative of a trial divorce, many of these negotiation points will fall in to place because, otherwise, divorce can cost thousands upon thousands of dollars and be stress-inducing and time-consuming — never good combinations!

If we can help you and your partner walk through a painless divorce process, let us know. Our DIY divorce forms are court-approved and the process is nearly automatic. Regardless of what you decide, best of luck to you!

What Should I Expect During My Divorce Process?

Are you considering a divorce and wondering what the process will be like?

Divorce can be a very emotional and a frustrating process.   Every state has different divorce laws that will establish what you go through once you have made the final decision.  There are several steps and procedures that need to be done in order to get the divorce process started.  Always remember that every divorce is unique in its own way, so there may be difficult times, frustrating moments and challenges with your spouse.

Some states do not have laws that allow a couple to take part in a legal separation.  In those states, you must stay married until the court decides otherwise.  If your state law allows couples to separate legally when one or the other spouse leaves the family residence, your lawyer will petition the courts for a legal separation.  If you are among the millions of people who have chosen to do their own divorce, then ordering a do it yourself divorce kit that contains a marital settlement agreement will accomplish this task as well.  This contract protects the interests of each individual including children of the marriage by making sure that both spouses meet their legal responsibilities to one another.  If your state does not have laws that allow a legal separation your next step would be to contact your lawyer or file a petition at the courts yourself asking for a hearing so that a temporary separation can be ordered.  This will happen after filing a petition for divorce in states with a no legal separation law.

A document called “Original Petition for Divorce” will start the divorce process and is filed with your local court.  In some states, this is referred to as a “Letter of Complaint.” Both documents are requests for the court to grant a divorce and list any information the filing spouse feels is necessary.  The original petition will recognize the parties to the divorce and any children they may have.  The party filing for divorce will have to state a reason as part of the petition or letter.  In most states, this will be “irreconcilable differences” or “incompatibility.” The person filing for the divorce will be named the “petitioner” by the courts while the other party to the divorce is referred to as the “respondent” or, in some states, the “defendant.”

The original petition or letter of complaint is then served to the respondent.  Normally a member of the local sheriff’s office serves the petition.  Those of you who choose to use a do it yourself  divorce process, you will be able to serve your spouse on your own.  Once the respondent has been served he / she has thirty days to hire a lawyer and respond to the original petition for divorce.   An uncontested divorce where both parties get along there is no need to hire an attorney if you can reach an agreement yourselves.   It is at this time that either party may ask for protective orders, restraining orders or temporary orders pertaining to child support and temporary allowance.

After the petition is served on the respondent, mediation is highly recommended to try and come to an agreement outside of court.  By using the Do It Yourself method you will both need to agree and settle your own disputes if any.  If you are lucky, this is as far as you will get in the process.  During mediation, both parties to the divorce and their attorney’s meet to discuss any disputes they may have and try to come to an agreement that meets the needs of one another.  The “mediator” is a court appointed attorney, and he is there to negotiate a settlement between the parties.

If you are unable to come to an agreement during mediation, a trial date will be set.  During the trial, both parties have the chance to claim their case before a judge.  The judge will then examine all the evidence and make a decision based on what he feels would be a proper settlement and conclusion.

After the judge has made a decision, both parties to the divorce will sign the final decree of divorce.  The final decree states who gets what, any orders pertaining to custody of the children, child support amounts, any ordered spousal maintenance and any other issues pertinent to the dissolution of the marriage.

If you do not agree with the court orders, you may then file a motion to appeal the order and request a new hearing. This motion is filed with the original judge.  Please note that not many judges are going to set aside their own orders. You should not be surprised when the courts deny your motion.  When the court denies your motion, you are able to file an appeal with the state appellate court.

Marriages of short length or where no children are involved will see their way through the process much faster.  If you do have children and have accumulated assets during your marriage you should not be surprised when the divorce seems to turn into a long, drawn out and at times, frustrating process.  Try to stay patient because the Family Court System is hard at work trying to protect the interest of all parties involved in a divorce action.

As you can see the divorce process can be daunting.  Please take a moment to visit where you are able to save both time and money by doing your divorce with easy to read divorce forms and a simple divorce kit.

Does a Low-Cost Divorce Really Exist?

Separating from your spouse can be very economical if you play your cards right.

It can also be very costly if you rush the process and make bad decisions.  Many divorces these days are very long and uncivilized.  Not to mention extremely expensive.  Trying to figure out how much a divorce costs is like asking how much do you spend on your wedding day?  You would like to set a budget but will always go over due to all the little perks along the roller coaster ride.  Where does all the money go?  Well for one we can figure that out right away.  Who is the first person you contact when you know you have agreed to a divorce?  Yes, your attorney is correct.

So, if you are looking to cut those costs or escape them altogether, you luckily have some alternatives.  The easiest and cheapest way of dealing with a divorce is to do all the paperwork and negotiating on your own.  A website like offers both state specific forms and kits to suit your necessary needs.  Included in every one of our divorce form kits is our step-by-step attorney authored divorce form guides to help make filing your divorce not only easy, but to give you the divorce help you may need to fill out our printable divorce forms.

Another inexpensive alternative for those whose divorces are relatively amicable is mediation.  During mediation, the couple agrees to hire a mediator that practices family law to oversee their negotiations.  A mediator can inform you about potential financial and custodial arrangements, and will help to reopen the discussion if things break down.  Trying to find the right mediator can be a task as well.  Take the time to assure you have a mediator whom you like, respect and believe to be qualified to help both of you negotiate that equitable settlement.  By talking to a number of mediators you will not only become clear on which one feels right for you, but you will also familiarize yourself with the process, the topics you’ll need to discuss, the costs associated with mediated divorces and the issues involved in selecting a mediator.

The biggest advantage of using either “Do it yourself Kits” or “Mediation” is to reduce your legal fees and have a much cheaper divorce.  In most cases I am sure anybody going through the process would like to get the divorce settled as quickly and painless as possible.  Getting a divorce can be very messy, both personally and financially.  Do not make the mistake by rushing the process to settle where it may cause you more damage financially.

If you and your spouse cannot come to an agreement and must go to court, there are a few ways to keep the costs low. Remember, turning the courtroom into a battleground will only exhaust your emotions and your finances.  Be sure to pick your battles wisely knowing every time you open your mouth the dollar signs will pop up.  Another way to keep your divorce basic is always make sure you have all the correct information and documents handy.  Always remember, too much documentation is never enough.

Overall, to avoid high cost fees we recommend you visit and take a glimpse of what we have to offer.   We offer downloadable & printable forms and kits where a Low-Cost Divorce really does Exist.

Get Online Divorce Forms in Seconds!

There are several resources to finding divorce forms online.

Divorce forms online for all states are ready for immediate download.  By going to you will be able to find specific states do it yourself forms and kits.  Close to 1 million people file for divorce in the United States yearly.  What most people do not know is that they are able to download divorce forms online for any state in the privacy of there own home in seconds.  Negotiating and handling your own paperwork through a do it yourself divorce process can save you a considerable amount of money and time.

You are able to download divorce forms that are court approved for any state in seconds.  The divorce forms and kit comes with a complete step by step guide and instructions on how to properly fill them out and process them.

A no-fault divorce or uncontested divorce essentially means that both spouses are in agreement on the terms of the divorce.  Another term would be “irreconcilable differences.”  No-fault divorce is valid in all 50 states and couples may file their own divorce paperwork without an attorney by simply filling out the proper divorce forms necessary.

Some states have some minimum requirements when filing for divorce.  Followed are a few of the most significant ones.

  • No matter which spouse files for divorce a residency requirement of  six months is most likely the case in all states.  Some states may vary.  You should be able to find this information online.
  • Most states have an essential waiting period from the time you file before the divorce is completed and approved.  That waiting period can be anywhere from 0 to 12 months depending on your specific case.  By downloading your specific state divorce forms and coming to an agreement with your spouse, you may be able to prevent this issue by a do it yourself divorce process.
  • Also remember that it is crucial that you file at the correct court house.  The correct court house usually resides in the county that either the husband or the wife has lived for the required minimum time period.

When you choose the state that you live in, you will need to download the documents with or without children pertaining to your specific situation.  There may be other questions that you will need to answer before filing your divorce papers which will be included in the divorce kit for you.

Although you and your spouse may agree to all aspects of the no-fault or uncontested divorce, you should give serious consideration to consulting with an attorney for financial planner if you are unsure about any financial or legal issues.  Keep in mind that any interactions with an attorney can lead to a more costly divorce.

Many states have courts with self-help services either on the Internet or in person.  Some states also offer legal help from certain law firms to help you with general questions about no-fault or filing your own divorce papers.

With that in mind, take a look at our website at to see our inexpensive specific state do it yourself forms and kits.

Is it Possible for a Man to get a Cheap Divorce?

This is the one million dollar question for men, and it is not always about the money.

As we all know, most divorce attorneys only care about themselves and their hourly rates.  This usually causes a divorce to drag out for a long period of time.  Depending on where you live, there are some very good alternatives.

If you have $15,000 to $25,000 to throw away, well then take the conventional route and get yourself an attorney.  But, are there other options?  You bet.  So most of your money does not go to an attorney, here are some different choices on how to seek a cheap divorce.

  • Using a good Mediator is a way to spend about one third of the regular cost of a divorce.  A mediator can decrease the cost of a divorce although it will still cost you a good amount of money.  If you have the funds and do not know your divorce rights, this is a route to take.
  • In most cases checking in with your county clerk’s office is another good way to receive information on how to file for  a divorce or how to file for a legal separation until you and your spouse decide what kind of action you will take.  If your assets are high, this may not be a sensible route to take.  If you are a regular Jo blow, the county clerk will lead you in the right direction to obtaining a cheap divorce.  Remember, you are dealing with a government office so don’t expect friendly smiles and courteous assistance.  However,these are your rights.
  • Depending on your state and your situation, there are Online Divorce Kits and divorce websites that assist you in obtaining the correct divorce forms.  Make sure you do some research and that you use a reputable site with customer service such as
  • Divorce Un-bundling.  This allows you and your spouse to maintain control and make decisions on ending the marriage on your own without the help of a neutral third party assisting you.  This includes the filing of any legal forms.  Again, I recommend you research this topic carefully.
  • In just about any state, you can hire a paralegal that will assist you in preparing the documentation necessary to file for a divorce at a much cheaper rate than an attorney.   Using a paralegal is useful when you and your spouse can agree on terms of the divorce.  But if that is already the case, why do you need a paralegal?  Right?
  • A divorce attorney is an option you have if you can afford to pay for your divorce and possibly pay for your spouses’ attorney as well.  An attorney is also good to have if you have large assets, you know your wife is going to play hardball and if you probably don’t want much contact with her.  If an attorney is absolutely necessary, save yourself some money by doing as much work as you can on your own, ask what you can do to save billable hours and explain you do not want to spend much time and money on your divorce.  A good attorney will assist you on this request.

It is not necessary to waste a lot of money on an attorney.  If you can communicate with your spouse and take the time to figure out what you both want, using a cheaper method for a divorce is very possible.  Remember to go online and look for divorce forms already available at

Important Steps to Divorce!



The planning of a divorce can be very difficult.  Be completely sure that you are 100% that you want a divorce before getting started.  Giving up on your marriage can be very overwhelming.  Be sure you have explored other resources such as marriage counseling or communication exercises before you commit to a divorce.  If possible, you and your spouse should work together and do your best to save your marriage before making any drastic decisions.

If all fails and you still are certain regarding the decision then, it is time to tell your spouse.  You must be prepared for the outcome, this can be the most emotional and difficult conversation you may ever have.  Get support from your family and friends and have them ready in case you are concerned your spouse may have a reaction that could lead to danger to either you or your children.  Be honest and upfront unless there is a security or custodial related need to not do so.

Inform your children.  If both parents can do this together, an honest explanation will provide reassurance and support to the children.  Consider researching other educational resources that will assist you to understand how to best communicate these difficult news.  It is recommended to do this before announcing the divorce to your children.


Gathering records is very important.  You will need to try and gather as many official copies of financial information about your spouse as possible.  This information can be legal, government, joint assets, joint debts, income records, employment records, insurance information and credit reports.  For your children, gather birth dates, current and past address records and social security numbers.

Obtain proof of ownership on all joint and personal assets and records of all joint debts.  Get copies of past tax returns, marriage license and any existing prenuptial agreements.

All of this information will be necessary when applying for a divorce either through an attorney or if you are using a “do it yourself kit”.

Divorce Preparation

You will need to decide if you are going to use an attorney or if you are going to use other methods to file for a divorce.  Divorce documents are available online and are a great way to keep costs low.  There are educational resources to assist you in understanding a divorce process.  You can look into other media such as, books, DVD’s or pamphlets to help you prepare for your divorce.  Take time to understand each step of the divorce process.

Custody arrangements are very important so begin to keep track of the time you spend with your children.  Make sure you log in all efforts in taking care of your children.

Prepare for a life apart

Speak to your spouse about all the accounts, debts and assets you share.  Make sure you close all credit accounts and joint bank accounts as early as possible.  Be sure to close all accounts in writing.  Speak to a professional about the negotiation process of dividing debts and assets.  Apply for your own credit cards and open your own bank accounts.  If needed, update your last will and testament as early as possible.

Use the address of your new residence or establish a secondary mailing address.  If sharing a home with your spouse for some time, store and save any sensitive information separately without access from your spouse.

A divorce does not have to be a difficult and stressful time.  Make sure to prepare and educate yourself in the initial steps to begin the divorce process.  By simply going to you can find several forms and kits as well as information to help you start your divorce process.

Use a Divorce Kit Today!

My Divorce Documents is one of the most trusted names in divorce documentation online today.  We pride ourselves in creating complete divorce kits that help our customers to file their divorces by offering on site downloadable divorce forms, restraining orders, child support and custody documents, and everything you need to complete our divorce papers, including name change forms.

Our downloadable divorce forms allow you to fill out the papers with our step by step guides in the comfort and security of your home or office when it is convenient for you.

Divorce can be a very frustrating and trying time.  If you and your spouse have come to the conclusion that divorce is the only answer, this kit will not only save you time, but dollars in legal fees and pain.

No-fault divorce is just as it sounds, neither party is at fault.  Some states call no-fault divorce “dissolution.  It simply states that there are “irreconcilable differences” between the two and they wish to terminate the marriage.

In the Do-It-Yourself Kit the following details will be covered for you:

  • Personal property and real estate
  • Child custody, support and visitation
  • Alimony
  • Debts and other obligations
  • Change to former name for the wife
  • Income taxes

Both Spouses Must Agree on the Following:

Both parties must agree entirely on the following listed details or this kit will not work for you.  Legal advice is recommended if you cannot agree on all aspects of ending the marriage.  If you and your spouse can agree entirely on the following few items, you are a perfect fit for this kit:

1) You must meet residency requirements for your state.  In most states, that is 6 to 12 months. The residency requirements for all states are listed in this kit.

2) Both of you must agree on all aspects of ending your marriage.

3) No pregnancy involved.

4) You must know the whereabouts of your spouse. He/she will need to sign the documents later. He/she will not need to appear in court, however, the person filing will.

5) You must be aware that there will be court fees you’ll pay directly to the court when you file. The fees vary in each state vary depending on where you live.  You can find out by contacting your county clerk’s office.

If you are able to agree on these items, it’s possible to save yourself lots of money in legal fees.  If you cannot agree, we suggest you seek legal advice.

Divorce is usually a very trying time, but if you and your spouse have agreed to all matters in regards to ending your marriage, this kit will definitely save time, heartache and hundreds of dollars.  Be sure to go over all situations, even real estate and children.  In addition to the cost of the kit, you will need to pay court fees.  These vary from state to state, even county to county.  You pay these fees directly to the court.  You can contact your county clerks’ office for actual fees.

To begin this low-cost downloadable specific state divorce process, please go to and see what we have to offer you now.