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Do-It-Yourself Divorce: Coping With Separation Stress And Transitioning

Unreasonable BehaviorEven with a “low-stress” do-it-yourself divorce, you’ll probably find that there is a lot more pressure than you initially think.

Divorce upsets the ecosystem of our lives. Sometimes the fallout is better; sometimes it can be worse. The problem is, when you’re just getting used to being on your own again, you don’t know which it will be. That uncertainty brings with it a lot of negative feelings and stress with which it can be hard to deal.

How you handle the pre-separation and transitioning phases will set a positive tone for your DIY divorce, and it will place you well on your way to a healthy recovery. Here are some steps you can take to get where you need to be:

1. Engage in deep relaxation methods.

If you can’t afford professional hypnosis or a yoga class, there are plenty of resources for putting these methods to work in other more affordable ways. It may not produce the same effect, but it’ll certainly help if you’re committed. Check the apps on your smartphone, read, or just set aside time each day to lay down, clear your thoughts, and use deep breathing techniques. Isolate yourself from sounds and other distractions and just meditate. You’d be surprised at the difference one hour or even 30 minutes a day can make.

2. Exercise routinely. 

It’s common knowledge that we feel more composed and healthier when exercise is a daily part of our lives. So why do we fight it so much? It all boils down to habit. If you can force routine exercise into your daily routine, then the positive effects will take over before you know it. The important thing is to start and not stop. And if you have stopped, then it’s time to lace up the shoes and head to the track or weight room.

3. Eat right. 

Comfort foods may lift your spirits when you’re feeling down, but they do very little to improve your long-term attitude and health. Like liquor, they can also become habit forming. While no one will fault you for having the occasional cheat-night, make it the exception to the rule.

4. Keep contacts with your ex professional. 

Remember you’re no longer in a relationship once you file for divorce, so stop acting like you are. It may seem cold and impersonal at first, but in the end, you and your ex will be the better for shifting gears from husband and wife to partners in an amicable divorce.

These four steps will help you through the awkwardness and uncertainty of separating and transitioning to single life after being married. Stick to them, and a new and happier you will emerge. Best of luck!

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