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How To Get Along With An Ex If You’re Married To Theirs

parental_responsibilityBeing a stepparent isn’t always easy, but as an online divorce review service, we know that more often than not, when two people with kids divorce, a stepmom or stepdad will eventually enter the picture. The harmony between stepparents and their S.O.’s exes is important to the development and happiness of the child, and so we felt it was important to discuss a few things about how you can get along with “the ex” if you find yourself married to their ex. Our recommendations:

1. Realize that your primary job is not to be the child’s mother or father.

If their mother or father is still in the picture, then you will have to realize this sooner rather than later. As long as they have their parents as an active and legal part of their lives, there will be nothing you can do to change that, so you might as well embrace the reality.

2. Work to make sure that the child’s relationship with both parents is healthy.

You can do this by setting aside any differences that you may have with the ex for the sake of the child. When you realize that it’s healthier for the child to have good relationships with both parents, then you will want to facilitate that, provided that you want what’s best for the child (and if you don’t, then you really shouldn’t be married to someone with kids). The best way to facilitate that relationship is to make it easy for their real mom or dad to see them, tension-free.

3. If you can’t be the child’s parent, then be a positive role model.

The better of a role model that you are to the kid, the better your relationship will be with his biological parents. Even if you and “the ex” start out not liking each other, you will end up respecting one another if the child’s best interests are what matter most to you.

Are you a stepparent or perhaps a biological parent who had to get used to a stepparent being around? What are some tips that you can provide to improve the relationship? Share in our comments section.

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