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Reclaiming a Spouse’s Love: Is It Even Possible?

Once the D-word is brought into a marriage, it can be difficult to ever recover. That’s because when a person is fed up enough with the relationship to say divorce, they’ve usually made up their mind already. Unfortunately, this can lead to some erratic behavior as the party who wants to save the marriage tries everything in their power to win back their spouse. Are these people wasting their time and sanity on something that will never pay off, or is it possible to reclaim a spouse’s love once it has been lost? 

For answers, we turn to Success Dating. The website recently looked at this phenomenon and had the following to say. 

“We are very quick to judge that we no longer love someone just because the feelings fade. With proper understanding, we can expect that even if the feeling may not be there, it doesn’t mean we don’t love. … In truth, love is a commitment. It is not just a feeling, it is a doing thing. A mature person loves by choice and not simply by circumstance.” 

To get the relationship back on the path to love, the author recommends two things right away. 1) Open a dialogue about the problems you’re having; and 2) Listen to what your spouse is feeling. Bringing in a counselor or mediator at this point can help facilitate the process, but it’s important to remember that you both have to be willing. 

If your spouse has checked out of the relationship entirely, you will need to come to terms with the fact that you can’t make someone feel an emotion that isn’t there. 

So yes, it is possible to reclaim a spouse’s love once that love has been lost, but the best option that you have available to you is to try counseling together. If that doesn’t work, consider counseling on your own and commit to self-improvement without any anticipation that the relationship will ever turn around. Working on improving oneself is the best way to change how someone feels about you, but at the end of the day, it’s up to them. And if they are done with the relationship, then you should be, too. 

Have you ever been in a relationship or marriage where one of you fell out of love and then had a change of heart? What was it about the situation that changed your thinking? Sound off in the comments section.

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