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The Boomerang Kids

Times are tough in the current economy, and how ever that affects the divorce rate is irrelevant right now. Right now we are going to talk about the new boomerang trend. A parent’s work is never done, as most of you parents of adult children know, and this is especially true when your adult child has no place to stay due to a divorce. Of course adults are resistant to the idea of moving back in with their parents, but if an empty wallet dictates that a necessity they will grit their teeth and ring your doorbell.
Naturally, you’ll want to let them stay and give them a sanctuary to heal from the divorce in, but as a parent how to do set boundaries? We dare you to find a parenting book that includes advice for this scenario.
Mommy Dearest

When your child is going through a divorce it can be hard not to play the role of the all-accommodating parent. But just like when your child was five years old and scraped their knee, after a divorce it is your job to calmly help clean the wound and encourage them to get back out there. The only differences you should make in your parenting plan are nixing the whole crust-cutting, and outfit selecting business.
Yes, the relationship between parent and child never seems to change much, and this is especially accentuated when they live together again. Ground rules are a must in this situation, but it’s been a while since you’ve had to make and enforce rules of the house. How do you go about it without seeming like you’re trying to “parent” your child again?
Second Set of Laws of the Land
Be upfront about your expectations. Usually, parents expect their children to stay temporarily, and although this seems obvious, have a little chat to make sure this is the case. Make this conversation two sided instead of you just setting a date for them to move out. Also, this should be a tentative time frame because we all know life can throw crazy things at a person.

Timing is key. Careful having this conversation too soon because it could make your child feel like their safety net is already being pulled from under them. For example, if your child is in the middle of sobbing about their divorce, or having a panic attack at the thought of the future, it is not the time to discuss their boarding time frame.
Let you children know your door is always open to them, but that your house is still your house with your rules. We don’t mean reinstate the rules they used to abide by, like curfew, television limitations, and their diet. We mean general house rules, like cleaning up after yourself, sharing food expenses, and household duties. These tasks and rules are appropriate and aren’t asking too much. After all, they are your child, not a guest.
Divorce is never an easy time in a person’s life, but it also affects the people surrounding the divorcee. As a parent of a divorcing or divorced child, your job is to support your child, but not to overly pamper and coddle them. Life is full of hard knocks, and you raised them to pick themselves up; don’t ruin all your hard work now.

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