The New Year is here, and if you’re divorced you might have been dreading NYE parties. If you’re divorced you probably have been dreading most social events because it eventually comes out: You’re divorced. Sometimes you can see the alarm in your new friend’s face, sometimes you can hear it. No matter how common divorce becomes, many people are still surprised when it comes out that you were in fact apart of one of those marriages that didn’t make it to 2013. But guess what? Part of the reason being divorced has become part of your identity is because you have let it. Harsh? Maybe a little, but here’s how to unstick that icky divorced you from just you.

Make a Resolution

New Years has passed, but we’re still in the infancy of 2013, so making a resolution is just fine. Besides, it’s not like there are resolution police setting up checkpoints. So make a resolution, right now, not to introduce yourself as the divorced friend; don’t tell your tale to willing coffee shop locals; refrain from throwing in references to your ex.

Divorce is devastating, but by allowing yourself to languish in the toxic ooze of divorce will only hurt you in the long run. Making a resolution to stop seeing yourself as the divorcee instead of the multitude of other things that make you, well, you will greatly enhance your 2013.

We do have one caveat: If you started 2013 as a newly divorced individual, give yourself some good wallowing time. It’s part of the grieving process and who are we to interfere with that? If, however, it’s been at least a year after your divorce, it’s time to put away that side of you and rediscover the other things about yourself.

Celebrate Yourself

Every now and again everyone needs a reminder of how cool they are, and divorcees are definitely in need of that. A great new trend to try out is a divorce party. They are a great way to close one chapter of your life in a lighthearted way, and to welcome the new chapter.

Here are a few tips for throwing a divorce party:

• Rent a neutral space, like a local bar or restaurant you love for easy clean up and minimal set-up.
• Make a list of possible invites and then narrow it down to people you feel are supportive and are positive influences in your life.
• Send out invitations early so people have time to warm up to the idea. Also include a little info about why you’re throwing a divorce party (like, “celebrating a new phase in my life”) because it’s not likely they’ve been to a divorce party yet.
• If you want a themed party, focus on lighthearted ones to not make others uncomfortable and to keep it fun.

Divorce is no walk in the park, but here’s to you not letting the negatives in life define you. Kick off 2013 on the right foot by shedding old skin and making way to grow into a stronger, more confident, happier person.