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The Thing To Remember About Your Spouse’s Past

Helping with an online divorce review site, you never know when your own personal experience might come in “handy.” When the opportunity does arise, it isn’t usually the most comfortable. Such a case happened today. I was at a local restaurant that my wife and I occasionally frequent. Our waiter came to the table, dropped off the menus, and took our drink orders.

There was a weird feeling about the whole exchange and I immediately noticed that something was “off” about the situation.

As soon as the waiter was gone, my wife explained to me that the man getting our drinks was at one time her fiancee. She looked uncomfortable, but the restaurant was my idea, and so I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this was one of those situations you just can’t plan for in life.

We went through the meal as uncomfortably as we could. To his credit, he tried to keep things professional, joking around uncomfortably in a manner that didn’t go beyond rapport building. At this point, all of us knew the truth but none of us were saying anything.

At the end of the meal, I paid the check and gave a standard tip so not to come across insulting. I had nothing against this guy, and I was pretty sure he had nothing against me. Before we left, however, he couldn’t resist saying something. Thankfully, it was a simple, “Nice to see you again. It’s good to see that you’re doing well.”

It was certainly a bad situation, but the three of us made the most of it and went on with our lives. I reminded myself that there are people who go through “actual” suffering and so this really wasn’t that big of a deal. For us, it isn’t. We talked a bit about it after we left. She voiced how she didn’t know if she should have introduced us or what. I told her it was fine. Who in their right mind walks in to a restaurant and expects that to actually happen?

While I would have probably avoided it altogether had I known what we were in for, I’m still kind of glad it happened in a (possibly) strange way. It reminded me that, yes, my wife had a past. But so did I. In fact, I’d been married once before. She had not.

Sometimes you’re not particularly proud of your past. Sometimes all you can do is acknowledge that it happened and move on. We used the experience later that night to talk about where we’d been and where we are now, and in talking about it, felt an overwhelming sense of relief that our lives had gone the way they had. We’re happy. We’re secure. We have a daughter we love more than anything in the world.

Yes, there were chapters of our lives where we lived without the other. But today, our lives are about each other and the beautiful life we’ve made. Thankfully, we’re living in the present where we belong and neither of us are bound to those lives we led so long ago.

If you’re here to read some of our online divorce reviews and think about the best way to end your marriage, don’t be discouraged about what you’re going through. It will soon be your past, and the future will be entirely up to you.

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