As an online divorce review site, we like to stay abreast of what is happening not just in the world of divorce but also in the aftermath. Picking up the pieces, moving on, learning your lesson — call it what you will, a divorce is only successful if you learn from it, and we’re as committed to helping you do that as we are helping you find the best sites on the web for handling your divorce.

Recently, Dr. Sherrie Campbell offered her expertise to readers at HuffPo on the value of failed relationships. What she had to say was pretty thought-provoking. Among the highlights:

• The wrong relationship prepares us for the right one.
• If a relationship didn’t bring us what we wanted, it did teach us what we want.
• We learn about our patterns.
• Self-respect.
• Grief promotes growth.

We agree with all of these points, but would like to focus on this one:

If a relationship didn’t bring us what we wanted, it did teach us what we want.

This highlights two realities of first marriages:

• They’re often entered into quickly (as in they “didn’t bring us what we wanted,” or put another way, we marry before we know what we want).
• They’re only beneficial if we actually learn from them.

With my own divorce, I felt like there was nothing beneficial about it for a number of years. It seemed like a waste of four years of my life, and it put a taint on the time before that. But then one day, I found the right relationship and it clicked in to place. My divorce wasn’t the worst thing ever; it was the second best thing behind my wife and the child we had.

If it hadn’t been for looking at the qualities that I hated from my first spouse and doing a lot of soul searching on myself, I would have never found a relationship that worked. I would have simply put myself in a new relationship that was much like the old one. And I already knew how that turned out!

So we encourage you, if you’ve recently gone through this or if you’re reading our online divorce reviews and asking, “uncontested or hire an attorney?,” don’t give up on love and don’t write off a bad relationship. They can often be the key to finding happiness and purpose. Good luck!