A recent article over at Huffington Post detailed a number of common “myths” that people will tell you once you or your spouse have followed through on the decision to file for divorce. In all, there are about 25. Whether you agree or not, they’re worth looking over as you enter (or deal with the fallout from) this next chapter of life.

However, today we’d like to focus on this one:

There’s a reason there’s no divorce ritual/celebration or marriage funeral — they aren’t needed!

In other words, it’s a lie that you don’t need some kind of commemoration to “celebrate” the end of your marriage. On this point, we’d have to agree.

Now, as far as celebrations go, it’s not going to be like a normal celebration where you experience great happiness and joy and make memories to last a lifetime. While you may make some good memories and have a few laughs, it is tough to completely recover from the experience of splitting up from your spouse in a single trip. It’s okay if you continue to feel the effects after the ritual is complete. Even so, rituals are important.

Think about what a ritual does. 

Before many major changes in a person’s life, a ritual is usually there to symbolize it. You have a wedding before a marriage. A memorial service to acknowledge loss and move on with the healing process. A bar mitzvah to symbolize the passing of childhood and the beginnings of adulthood. A baptism to begin a spiritual journey. A housewarming party to “break in” a new home or apartment. Rituals are important to us in every other walk of life, so why wouldn’t they continue to be when it comes to a contested or do it yourself divorce?

The ‘proper’ way to acknowledge your divorce 

Finding the “proper” ritual to acknowledge your divorce begins with realizing there is no one answer that fits the bill.

When I experienced my divorce, my brother and I “celebrated” with a weekend trip to Memphis In May. He let me talk when I wanted to talk. We took in several live music acts, tipped back a few beers, and just enjoyed the time away from everything and everyone back home. After I returned to my normal life, I continued struggling with the fallout of my divorce for a couple of years, but the healing process had been set in motion because of that trip.

Mine was a DIY divorce, but that didn’t make it any less painful. For me, that trip was the “proper” way to heal. For you, it will likely be something else. But it’s important you find some method of beginning the process.

What ritual did you conduct to help with the healing process?