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‘Marriage Isn’t For Everyone’: Worst Post-Divorce Advice Ever

At our online divorce review site, we try to help many people find a quick way through the divorce process, but sometimes people need help after the breakup, and that’s where you, the good friend, comes in. We advise that you be careful through this time because how you respond to your friend or family member’s pain could have a significant impact on how they cope. That’s why you should avoid sharing this piece of “advice” at all costs:

Marriage isn’t for everyone.

The reality is that marriage IS for everyone provided you have found the right person. And even if you’ve been (or are) divorced yourself, sharing this nugget of wisdom is not helpful. Why?

1. Because it implies there is something defective in the person to whom you’re saying it.

You may have managed to comfort your divorce with the old “Marriage isn’t for everyone” line, but keep in mind that they are not you, and in their mind, they’re trying to process what went wrong. They didn’t want their marriage to end in divorce, and it’s likely they’ll want to get married again, so saying this is just insulting.

2. Because it brings cynicism into the world of relationships.

Cynicism doesn’t work for healthy relationships. If you tell your friend that marriage isn’t for everyone, you inadvertently influence them to look at all future relationships as if there is something intrinsically wrong with them. This can lead the people you care about to pass up promising relationships based on nothing.

3. Because it trivializes everything about the relationship they are leaving behind. 

While you may look at your past relationships and see them as meaningless, your friend may not see it that way. No one wants to feel like they’ve wasted a whole chunk of their lives that they’ll never get back, yet when you say that, you make them think they’ve pitched those years off a cliff with nothing worthwhile to show for it.

If you know someone who is getting a divorce then be more careful with the words you say. If you are at the end of your marital rope, then check out our online divorce reviews for your options.

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