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What to Remember About Your First Date Following a Divorce

Dating after a divorce is as exciting as it is challenging. Too many divorcees take that first invitation (or request) too seriously, though. To help, we’ve put together a short list of the things that you will want to remember as you get ready to make a new acquaintance (and possibly begin an affair to remember). Let’s get started!

1. The other person probably isn’t Mr./Mrs. Right, and neither are you. 

First dates following a divorce are almost never successful for making a healthy love connection. How could they be? You’ve just ended a long-term commitment, and you’re still a bit hurt and/or confused about what happened. You can’t possibly be in the position to choose a good mate. But here’s the thing: you’re probably not the right material either. If you have no recent dating experience coming out of the marriage, then you are too stunted emotionally to be able to put someone else’s needs ahead of your own. And that’s okay, provided that you understand that about yourself.

2. You’ll go further on fun than emotional weightiness. 

Don’t get too serious with talk or action on a first date. If you’re telling someone your deepest, darkest fears, then you’re screwing up royally. Be focused instead on fun and observing the other person. Don’t get weighty with your conversation material, or you’ll risk either moving too fast or scaring someone off. 

3. It should be the first of many. 

Only by dating a number of different people can you start to be assured about who the “real you” is emerging from the divorce. Try to be open and diverse in your selection, and make sure that even the bad dates teach you something new about yourself.

4. It shouldn’t be what defines your recovery.

The “love of a good woman” (or man) should never be what you’re depending on to get over your divorce. It should instead be your personal growth and development. How happy are you with you? Forget how happy someone else is with you. Can you look in the mirror and like what you see?

What are some of your worst first-date mistakes after a divorce? Sound off in the comments section below!

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