One of the major keys to a healthy relationship includes keeping things fresh between you and your spouse. How do you do that? By keeping them on their toes, in a good way.

For example, if your spouse is the one who does most of the cleaning around the house because you work more, take advantage of those times when she is away to tidy up the place. Do the dishes, run a load of laundry, fold clothes, sweep, vacuum — do it without asking.

If your spouse has worked really hard and he wants a day to veg out and play video games, make a gift of that to him.

These are just examples that underscore the importance of the unexpected in a committed relationship. If you know your spouse and you’ve been paying attention, then you know what it is they enjoy. So find a way to give it to them.

But also, keep this in mind: your spouse doesn’t necessarily want you to enjoy what they enjoy.

They just want to see that you appreciate what it means to them. That’s why, in the video game example, the answer isn’t necessarily to join in with him in a day-long gaming session. It’s simply to make the time and the circumstances fit to what he wants to do.

Knowing what your spouse would like to do with you and what your spouse would rather do alone is an important aspect of delivering the unexpected because it shows that you have an understanding of how they operate and how to make a gesture that will have the most significant impact on their happiness and well-being.

If both parties are committed to each other in such a way, then a strong marriage or relationship is within grasp. However, reciprocation is essential. It can’t be one-sided, or bitterness and a feeling that one isn’t appreciated will set in.