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Divorce Expectations: Why You Should Get Them Out In The Open

Divorce expectations may vary depending on how much of an optimist you are. For most, the process is something to be feared and dreaded. Filling out forms isn’t the way one wants to spend their weekend, nor is missing work to sit in a courtroom. The flip side of that coin, however, is when a future divorcee thinks they’re going to get everything they want — kids, over half of the assets, alimony for life, child support, etc.

No matter how unlikely or extreme your divorce expectations are, you should get them out in the open. Talk about them with friends. Write them down. Explore the worst and best case scenarios together. Why? Let’s explore.

1. It causes you to be ready for anything.

By stating your expectations on a positive and negative scale, you’re maintaining hope while exploring the real possibility that you’re not going to get everything you want out of the divorce settlement. Realistic tones are good when it comes to divorce because it tempers disappointment when something doesn’t go your way.

2. It allows you to think about alternatives. 

When you are actually entertaining the possibility that your spouse will get custody of the kids, for example, this allows you to shift your thinking into a more edifying focus. So that didn’t go my way, you tell yourself. What’s something that is going my way? How can I capitalize on that?

3. It draws the line in the sand that you’re going to need for fighting through a contested divorce.

When you start looking at divorce expectations as something realistic, you’re going to be able to separate the “it would be nice” goals with the “deal breaker” goals. This is where you find out what is really important to you and how far you’re willing to go to get it.

If you and your spouse are considering divorce, check out some of our online divorce reviews to see what your best option will be.

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