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How Divorce Can Change A Child For The Better

As an online divorce review site, we see a lot of users who visit worried about whether they are doing their children irreparable harm with the decision to call it quits. There are certainly some sobering statistics out there that indicate divorce can lead to later-in-life difficulties for a young one, but there are also ways that pushing through with a divorce can enrich their lives.

For starters, it can teach them not to accept less than what they deserve.

Probably one of your biggest fears, if you’re in this boat, is that your children will experience heartache and failure in their relationships. You want them to have it better than you did and not “settle,” but how will they ever know to not settle if they see you doing it? Finding someone who makes you happy and more complete should be a goal, and if your marriage isn’t doing that, then it could be best to look elsewhere.

Secondly, children can learn they are not forgotten.

Many kids who experience negative effects of their parents’ divorce, go through it because Mom and Dad fought constantly and put them in the center — whether intentionally or unintentionally — thus making them feel like something was wrong with them and that their parents’ love for them was conditional on picking the right side. You can prevent this from happening by making your kids a priority throughout the divorce process (and after), showing them that they still matter.

Thirdly, divorce can teach kids much about conflict resolution. 

If Mom and Dad are fighting tooth-and-nail and oblivious to others’ feelings, then obviously that would be a bad lesson for your kids to learn. But if you are respectful, kind, and understanding in your approach, it can result in your kids getting a better idea of how to talk through problems and resolve conflicts.

The one constant in all these life lessons is you and your spouse. While you cannot control your spouse’s actions, you can control your own. Be the example you want your kids to have, and they’ll be at least halfway to normal, well-adjusted adulthoods.

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