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How Second Spouses Can Benefit From Their Partner’s First Marriage

When you’re growing up as a little boy or girl, the last thing that you probably dream about when thinking of Mr./Ms. Right is the idea that you won’t be their “first” spouse. People seldom if ever dream about marrying a divorcee just like the divorcee never “hopes” to have their first marriage fail. But the good news is this: if your partner has grown from their first marriage and been mindful of the pitfalls, you stand to reap some pretty major rewards for saying, “I do” to them. Here are a few.

1. You get someone who’s been through the trial-and-error.

Many first marriages end in divorce because the participants were too young, too inexperienced, or both. They had little idea about what it took to have a successful marriage, and so through trial-and-error, they lost their way. When you are husband or wife number two, your spouse has a greater tendency to be mindful of potential pitfalls regarding behavior and how they interact with you. Example: they know the fights that are worth it and the ones that aren’t.

2. You marry a person who is more considerate and analytical.

This one is particularly true if they come from a marriage where their ex was a powder keg, who always had to have a “battle” to fight. Often times, people who escape from these marriages are so relieved to be done with it all that they don’t ever want to repeat the same mistake of marrying someone who is the carbon copy of their ex. They have a tendency to know trigger points much better than your average person. They’re also more mindful of their own faults and work harder to police those so they don’t spill out on you.

3. You say ‘Yes’ to someone who is often more successful. 

Prime earning years usually don’t come until around 35 to 50 years of age. That means, often by default, you’re going to end up marrying someone who is more successful financially and someone who has a better idea of where they’re going in their career path.

4. You marry someone who is more willing to try new things.

If you want adventure, then be someone’s second husband or wife! Many are mindful that they were too “reserved” the first time around and so they resolve to try new things and expand their horizons in ways that your standard young married person just wouldn’t.

So how about it, second spouses? How do you think your husband or wife’s first marriage benefitted you?

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