As an online divorce review service, we take great interest in anything that pertains to families who are struggling with the realities of divorce. One of the biggest sticking points for most divorced people — or future divorced people — is what to do with the kids.

So many parents want to be extra nice to their children during this time, and bestow more and more attention, almost to the point of overcompensation, when there is one thing they should really consider doing that could make the biggest difference. 

What Kids Really Want

In Dr. Mark Goulston’s recent newsletter, he wrote: “A majority of teenagers, when asked if they had the choice between their parents being nicer to them or more loving towards each other, will pick the latter. The animosity between parents is very painful to their children.” 

While that’s not to say that children don’t appreciate the extra effort their parents make toward them, it’s pretty clear that the easiest way to “transition” a kid through divorce is to keep things civil and low-conflict between each other. 

The more that Mom and Dad fight, the unhappier their children will be, regardless of what the parent-child dynamic is. 

So What Should Parents Who Don’t Like Each Other Do?

The first thing you can do is, together, realize that whatever differences exist between you will affect your children. That’s not to say you have to force friendship with one another, but it does indicate that you should rethink how you interact with and about one another. In other words, get along. Stop making mention of the other parent an opportunity to jump on your soapbox. Realize your child is half of both of you. Insulting the other parent is like insulting them. Instead of going that route, try to keep conflicts to a minimum, respect each other’s time, and work hard to show that spirit of cooperation to your kids. 

In Summary

If you feel like the relationship you have with your spouse is too contentious for the good of your children, then consider working together to complete an uncontested divorce. Our online divorce reviews can guide you to the sites that work best for your needs. Let us get you started today.