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How To Make Single Parenting Work

If you’ve recently ended your marriage — or are about to the way so many that come to our online divorce review site are — then you know that coming fresh off a divorce can be painful. However, you may not have time to throw yourself a major pity party. The duties of parenting will not relent, even as you’re going through an emotional roller-coaster. Still, that doesn’t mean the job is beyond you. If anything, it’s likely you’ll emerge a stronger parent and a stronger person. Here’s how you can get from where you are now to the place where you want to be.

One: Set priorities. 

Too often, single parents want to be their child’s everything. They want to shoulder the pain that the child might be feeling and carry them through the storm like a protective bear would her cub. Unfortunately, you now have to do the job of two people because there are no guarantees that your ex will live up to his end of the parenting responsibilities. You can’t afford to count on someone else to get the job done, so you have to do everything. Except you can’t. No one can. Your children will feel the fallout of your divorce whether you try to shield them or not. It’s normal. That means you can only be the best You. To get that done, you have to decide what’s really important to your child’s well-being. No one will think you’re crazy if you sit down with a pen and paper and write out everything you want to provide for your child and/or help them accomplish. From there, assign importance to each task and focus on the most important things first. It never hurts to get organized and set those priorities when you’re a parent.

Two: Remember that your child is not your ex.

Sometimes single parents can frustrate themselves by equating their child’s negative qualities with those of their ex. It’s important not to do that, and especially not to let it outwardly show. First of all, you want to focus on the child’s positive qualities and cultivate those as the parent. Secondly, you don’t want to devalue the role of the other parent to your child even though it may be tempting to do so. That’s because your child still loves the other parent and the older they get, the more they understand they’re a little like each of you. In other words, a knock against your ex could be taken personally by your child and affect their self-esteem.

Three: Your attitude is everything to your kids.

No breakup is fun, and you don’t have to act like it is. But you do need to decide what kind of attitude you will have. Putting out a positive attitude even through hard times like divorce will serve as a lesson for how to handle adversity. If your kids see that you’re going to be all right, then they will be, too.

If you’re not yet to the point of divorce and aren’t sure which path to take, give our online divorce reviews a read-through, and best of luck as you navigate this next chapter.

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