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Rebuilding After Divorce: It’s Not As Hard As You Think, And Here’s Why

Rebuilding after divorceRebuilding after divorce — even in a stress-free do it yourself divorce like the kind we often see here at — can be difficult when the wound is still fresh, and you’re trying to adjust to life alone.

But the good news is, it’s not as hard as you think. At least, it doesn’t have to be. To make the journey from loss to recovery an easier one, you’ll need to understand things about yourself. Unique qualities that make you attractive to others and, more importantly, pleasing to yourself.

Here’s why you shouldn’t fear the rebuilding process after you or your spouse decides to file for divorce, but rather, embrace it.

You Know Your Limits.

When couples enter into a marriage for the first time, there is an aura of uncertainty about what they will (and won’t) accept in a relationship. If you’re divorced, you’ve been there and done it. You know what you’re not looking for in another person as well as your preferences.

If You Let It, Divorce Teaches You How To Love Yourself.

Before marriage, many have a tendency to tie their own value to another person. They look for validation in the eyes and the arms of a lover, and until they find it, they’re not happy. Once the marriage is over, you have two options. You can seek pity from others — a mistake many divorcees make by dating too soon — or you can take time for yourself and explore all the interests and hobbies that were impeded by your marriage. When it comes to pity-versus-self discovery, always choose the latter.

More Options 

The world we live in today is much different than it was 20 years ago. Today, a 45-year-old divorcee doesn’t have to “take whatever he or she can get” when it comes to social opportunities. There are numerous ways that you can meet other like-minded people and explore common interests that might lead to something more meaningful. Book clubs, bicycle groups, church, CrossFit, online dating services. You can use the web to explore all these opportunities, enabling you to get back out there when YOU’RE ready and not when society thinks you should be.

Whether you spent 17 years battling it out in court or opted for the easy DIY divorce, the only person, who can hold you back from the rebuilding process is you. Don’t let negativity dictate who you become.

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