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Why People Cheat: 6 Common Reasons

why people cheatSurprisingly, cheating happens more often than you might expect in cases of do it yourself divorce, particularly when the parties have been together for less than five years. Most spouses in that situation simply like to cut their losses and move on with life. When the couple has been together for quite some time, however, they have the opportunity to amass greater amounts of property together, thus making complex divorce proceedings more prevalent. There may also be children involved and a greater unwillingness to part ways because of the emotional history.

While it’s not the biggest reason people file for divorce — finances are — infidelity is still a major contributor to the dissolution of a marriage. When it happens, there is almost no coming back from it. The bonds of trust are gone indefinitely, and unless the cheating partner is truly regretful and throws himself (or herself) 100 percent into being transparent, then the marriage might as well end immediately.

While statistics are hard to prove on how often it occurs — after all, it’s a hard thing for many people to admit — the reasons are far more traceable. Here are six of the most common:

  • A history of cheating. If it’s happened once before — as in before marriage or in other committed relationships the spouse had before he married you — then he’s likely to do it again. This is probably true in most of the DIY divorce cases that we see involving infidelity.
  • Substance abuse problems. Drunkenness is often cited as a reason people take part in one night stands. For longer affairs, this excuse is a harder sell. While we suppose it’s possible liquor can make individuals do things they wouldn’t have otherwise done in a state of sobriety, it’s still not a good reason to turn the other cheek. After all, if substance abuse makes a spouse cheat once, it’ll probably happen more often.
  • Age differences. Many a middle-aged man going through a mid-life crisis has been guilty of engaging in a physical and emotional relationship with a partner several years younger. These relationships almost always end badly because, many times, it’s the thrill of the hunt and the material comfort that attracts a younger spouse to the relationship. Once the new wears off and the “honeymoon stage” is over, the younger spouse finds out they don’t have as much in common as originally thought.
  • Mental or emotional issues. If there is an unresolved or traumatic issue in a partner’s past, then he or she is likely to “seek therapy” in the arms of another person.
  • Long distance relationships. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, they say, but too much of it can make the heart forget. When a couple only sees one another once a week or month, it’s far too easy to stray.
  • Unresolved relationship conflicts. If you’re the type of couple, who never fights, look out! Relationships require some conflict for one spouse to continue looking upon another as an individual. When a spouse can see your convictions in action, they tend to respect who you are as a person more thoroughly. Unfortunately, many couples avoid conflict and allow themselves to drift apart. When that happens, they often forget why it was the marriage occurred in the first place, and one or both are more likely to cheat.

Have you experienced cheating in a relationship or marriage? Which of these factors do you feel was most to blame?

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