How To Know You’re Growing Apart
Growing apart is an unfortunate reality of married life, and it’s one that must be fought against every step of the way. The marriages that are unable to fight back are the ones that often fail. The good news is that something can be done before it’s too late that will enable you to keep the marriage together. You simply have to know what the warning signs are and resolve to do something about them.
Warning Sign #1: You do everything separately.
Vacations, bed times, weekend time. If you are spending all your time apart and living as glorified roommates, then you need to stop it at once. Schedule a weekend off together somewhere, free of the kids. Hire a babysitter for the night if you can’t afford a whole weekend. Reconnect as dating partners and not just caregivers. Have a code word if the conversation starts to become too much about the kids. All of this is important for not growing apart.
Warning Sign #2: You are stressed to the max.
Buy a house? Remodeling one? Did you just have a baby? Or perhaps you have a sick child that requires more care than a child on a normal development pattern would need? All of life’s stresses can add up over time, or they can crush you at once. If you can’t learn to lean on one another and nurture your relationship throughout, then you could be headed for trouble. If you’re stressed, do NOT be afraid to ask for help. Family. Friends. They all want to see you succeed, and by utilizing them when times are tough, you can take the time to reconnect with one another, assess tough situations, and figure out how best to deal with the issues.
Warning Sign #3: You are bored with one another.
You’re spending time together, but unfortunately, you aren’t as drawn to one another as you used to be. When you do get free time, you’re out of ideas for things to do from the very beginning. Instead of living a life together, you’re going through the motions and wishing you were somewhere else. The remedy for this is tough, and sometimes there isn’t one.
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