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What to Expect in a Divorce?

One of life’s most difficult questions you may run into is if  you should end a marriage or not.  Many people are unsure as to whether they will pursue a divorce or want to understand the process for acquiring one.  Knowledge can be very empowering and may help you think more clearly as to how you wish to handle the issues within your marriage.  This article gives a basic overview of the stages of a divorce case.

In some cases you may not automatically want to file your Divorce Complaint, although there may be reasons you wish to do so.  In this case you may want to try and resolve the issues that are relevant to considering ending your marriage.  If you have come to the final decision of moving forward with a divorce and feel there is no hope left then you need to start your divorce process.  During this time, you will likely exchange whatever information needed to have disclosure on financial issues.  You can even work with mediators or care professionals, if necessary, in order to resolve any conflicts with regard to custody and parenting time of your children.  Once the settlement is reached, it is reduced to writing and executed by the parties and counsel.  At this time, the parties can file the pleadings to obtain a divorce and seek enforcement of the agreement they have reached.

In the event that the circumstances of your case force you to file your divorce pleadings immediately rather than pursue pre-filing settlement options as discussed above, then your case will proceed differently.  The filing of the Divorce Complaint has an important impact.  Generally speaking, it establishes the termination date of your marriage and is the date by which assets of a marriage are identified and valued.  The filing of the Divorce Complaint also triggers many court deadlines for moving your case forward.  For example, your spouse will have thirty-five days to respond to the pleading that you filed.  From there, you and your spouse will prepare financial disclosure forms called Case Information Statements.  These forms will be filed with the court.

You will also begin a process called “discovery” in which you and your spouse will have a certain fixed period of time to respond to formal requests for information. These demands are called “Interrogatories,” which are written questions, to which you must respond, and a “Notice to Produce,” or a demand for documents, to which you will also have to respond by producing the documents requested in the demand.  Depositions may also occur during this discovery period.  Depositions consist of a series of questions that you and your spouse answer under oath. The attorney representing your spouse asks you the questions; your attorney questions your spouse.  Furthermore, if there are contested issues of custody and parenting time and/or if there are assets that need to be valued, such as real estate or a business, those evaluations occur during this time period with the assistance of experts.

Once discovery is completed there are certain initiatives organized by the court to assist you in trying to reach a settlement of your case.  One such initiative is called Early Settlement Panel, where approximately two attorneys volunteer their time to sit as panelists and hear from your counsel the merits of your positions in your divorce.  At the conclusion of that presentation, the panelists will offer a non-binding and confidential assessment of how they would resolve your case based on their experience.  If your case does not settle at Early Settlement Panel, then you are provided the opportunity to go on to Economic Mediation.  During Economic Mediation, attorneys who are qualified mediators volunteer approximately two hours of their time to again hear from you and your counsel and try to help you reach a resolution of your open issues.  With both Early Settlement Panel and Economic Mediation, your spouse and his/her attorney also present their position. At the conclusion of Economic Mediation you report back to the judge assigned to your case to advise the court of the status of your case.  If at the end of Economic Mediation your case is still not settled, then the court will likely schedule an in-court settlement conference and/or a trial date.

The above offers a quick summary of the general process of a divorce.  Subjective circumstances of an individual case can certainly cause a case to evolve in a variety of different directions.  A complicated custody dispute can also make a divorce more involved, although courts do prioritize custody matters and try to expedite those cases, preferably within a six month period of time tolling from the filing date of the Complaint for Divorce.  It is also important to keep in mind that with the assistance of counsel and cooperation from the parties, even complicated matters can be solved expeditiously.  Every divorce varies according to your situation.

If you have read the divorce process and realize that you can have an amicable divorce and come to agreements to resolve this divorce quickly.  Then I encourage you to simply go to www.mydivorcedocuments.com where you can download your specific state low cost forms and kits today.

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How Do I Know if an Uncontested Divorce is Right for Me?

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What is an Uncontested Divorce?

An Uncontested Divorce is a way majority people get a divorce.  It is very basic and the most inexpensive way to divorce.  It gives you and your spouse a chance to end your marriage quietly and civilly.  An Uncontested Divorce is not right for all divorcing couples.

Advantages of Uncontested Divorce

The advantage of an uncontested divorce is the low cost.  An uncontested divorce that stays uncontested is almost always the most inexpensive way of getting a divorce.  I am sure the first thing that may go through a person’s mind is “can I afford this divorce”?  The simple fact is that any money you can avoid spending on any type of legal fees or mediators, you may be able to use after your divorce or on your children if any.  The low cost is not, however, the only advantage of an uncontested divorce.  If the level of differences between you and your spouse are kept at ease then you will be able to keep your costs low.  The agreements that the two of you will reach in an uncontested divorce and file in the court will be a matter of public record.  Nor do the various proposals you discuss as you negotiate an agreement that’s acceptable to both of you.

Now don’t think you have to agree with each other about the issues of your divorce for an uncontested divorce.  It is not so much a question of agreement as it is your desire to get through your divorce in a civil matter.  If you and your spouse don’t yet agree on all the issues of your divorce that just means you may have some negotiating to do before you finish it.

When an Uncontested Divorce is a Bad Idea

An uncontested divorce is not a good idea when one spouse chooses to belittle or continuously bring up all the faults of the other spouse.  When domestic violence is involved, an uncontested divorce is not a good idea either.  Uncontested divorce is a bad idea when the parties are not able to speak civilly with one another.  If your spouse refuses to have any discussion with you about divorce, and if you’re determined to move forward with the process, any money you spend on an uncontested divorce is likely to be wasted.  If you are patient, you may find that your spouse may come around later, but if you are determined to finish it now and your spouse is not cooperating, you may have no choice but to serve them with the normal divorce process and do it the hard way.

The first thing you need to know about uncontested divorce is that the lawyer you get to do your uncontested divorce cannot represent both of you.  The courts assume that the spouses in a divorce have different interests.  The lawyer must represent one of you and not the other.  Uncontested divorce can happen much faster than most people realize.

An uncontested divorce basically all depends on your specific divorce case. If you and your spouse are able to come to an agreement and work civilly together then an uncontested divorce is perfect for you.  On that note, if you would like to not only save money but time as well you can try a do it yourself divorce.  Simply go to www.mydivorcedocuments.com and look into a specific state down-loadable divorce kit for a low cost and begin your divorce process today!

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Making Divorce Amicable-A Field Guide

The Huffington Post recently published an article that asks the question of Can the words “good” and divorce” be used in the same sentence?

Without questions divorce is arguably the most singularly stressful event in a person’s life. Questions of financial security, how assets will be divided, where the kids will live and visitation issues are all huge questions for a couples involved in the divorce process. But while the emotional drain and shock wont be easy MyDivorceDocuments.com can help make divorce as painless as can be and provide valuable divorce information.

While most people consider the more obvious and big-picture questions; handling the divorce process themselves through amicable means and settling small items first can lead the way towards a divorce ending with most parties often times becoming friendlier and more attached in a paradox that happens time and time again in a no fault uncontested divorce.
In the article, the author posted some other tips of how to have a “good” divorce:

Is the marriage really over? Is Divorce really the last resort? Counseling and other communication aides should be tried before making the decision; furthermore even Divorce Counseling during the divorce process can be beneficial and prepare both parties for what happens next.

At one point, there was some amount of love in the relationship. Try to focus on good times and you ex to be’s positive qualities. Divorce doesn’t automatically dehumanize your spouse. Can you put the interests of the kids ahead of yours?  Do not use your children as pawns in the divorce game. As we spoke in last week’s blog-your children are still going to spend time with your ex. Uncontested Do It Yourself Divorce can take the war out of the process.

Once divorce is realized as the best option; keep the lines of communication open. Don’t let angry feelings fester and cloud your thoughts. A Free exchange of ideas is all part of give and take. Valuable divorce information if ever there were some.

At all costs avoid court! Cooperative and collaborative uncontested divorce allows each side to come to an agreement without a judge’s intervention. The more court action, the less control the spouses have and it’s more expensive. DIY Uncontested Divorce can cut this nightmare of the equation.

Act your age! There will be times you will want to take the ball and go home. Try and stay in control and keep the emotions in check. Be constructive-not destructive in discussions and actions. DIY Uncontested Divorce can cut this nightmare of the equation.

Can you think of the big picture acting in the best interest of all and setting your own goals aside? In this day and age it sounds ludicrous be leading by example will aide the divorce process. Can you create a game plan? Set realistic goals about your children and your financial issues.

Can you be honest and avoid mind games? Many spouses try playing games in order to hurt the other. Avoid it.
This is all good advice and finding online divorce forms is increasingly gaining popularity no matter what state you live in. Communicate, set goals, be true to your self and true to your spouse-it can be done.

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The Male Perspective of Divorce

Divorce can be ugly and it doesn’t take Freud to unveil the facts. A married couple who at one point had the assumption that as life partners they would grow old together decide to go separate ways, there is resentment, hatred and a fury of mixed emotions which makes “irreconcilable differences” seem far too gentle of phrase. While there have been plenty of articles, blogs, websites, and LifeTime Network movies made for divorced women focused on handling depression and other negative effects of divorce; Hardly any attention gets shined on men’s reactions to divorce. MyDivorceDocuments.com examines the issue.

As of 2008 there was an estimate that close to 40% of marriages ended in divorce. The stats for second marriages are even less impressive. And while we are led to believe that most men are at fault for divorce for not showing enough affection at best and abuse at worst-no one disputes that divorce is hard on everyone. Most men can ponder what will happen in terms of child support and custody laws but once the ruling is made, most men can begrudgingly accepts it.

In general, men are defined by more than just their status in a marriage. A lifelong bachelor with a successful career never gets castigated of question yet an older woman in similar circumstances gets branded a spinster. A man who doesn’t want children isn’t looked at it in the same light as woman. A man can get judged by his job, his car, his hobbies and ironically men are effected more by employment status then marital status. If a man can pay the child support and have more time to golf-he probably isn’t going to think the divorce process a bad decision.

In stark contrast; men do not suffer the depression women do and tend to be far more impacted by employment status. Yet post divorce studies show an amazing statistic in that a woman’s standard of living drops by 73% while the man’s standard of living increases by 42%. It’s going to get a whole lot better soon. Probably a good thing that most men do not know this stat as I am sure many men on the marital fence would probably have visited MyDivorceDocuments.com yesterday. But once again; the pull of providing for spouse and children is a powerful and compelling reason to stay and given that men typically won’t research divorce law or child support laws there tends to be a blind eye cast to the subtle nuance of divorce law.

Lets examine it-a man gets divorced. Now what? He still has his job, friends, business associates and a social support system that he probably lamented not being able to spend more time with. Since Time and Memorium men have been raised to be the Hunters, Breadwinners, builders, police and fireman rolled into one; knowing the ins and outs of Divorce Law take a backseat to the needs of the family.

Studies show that men suffer disproportionate health effects on a far higher scale for employment factors then marital factors while the stats for woman are quite the opposite. The facts are no one looks eagerly towards divorce and very few men endure the divorce process unscathed. It is however time to admit that emotional factors and baggage due to divorce isn’t always solely reserved for women.

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Divorce-Weighing the Cost Spectrum

 

We here at Mydivorcedocuments.com often get asked the question How Much Divorce Really Cost? Its a good question and based purely on the number of variables there is no direct nor scientific answer. If you or your spouse choose to battle tooth and nail of every small step of the divorce process and with high priced legal teams then you are probably looking at both spouses filing for bankruptcy as the end of court proceedings.

Then again the pendulum can swing in the other direction as well , if you can sit down like adults and decide without the assistance of OJs dream team on how best to separate; the costs associated will be infinitesimally smaller by contrast as you and your ex to be can hammer out the details and use a Do It Yourself or DIY Divorce Kit. Keep in mind that with the legal process of divorce there are always going to be some marginal cost associated with the process in itself.

But lest we kid ourselves the data is staggering and overwhelming that Divorce is business unto itself in the US and according to some statistics divorce can be a $28 billion annual industry with the average costs of divorce estimated to be roughly $ 20,000. We must attest this figure largely buoyed by celebrity and other high profile divorces we have covered here in previous blogs.

If you are thinking and weighing your divorce options, then one must assume both the short term and long term costs to consider. While short term costs are mainly associated with the attorney fees the long term ramifications include questions of finance and lifestyle. Thus the DIY Divorce is finding a niche for responsible adults who want a fair and amicable split without the legal rhetoric and courtroom haggling. Divorce kits include legal forms based and custom designed for all US States and cover the gamut of details that need to be decided on like personal property and real estate issues, child support, legal name changes and more. You can simply file and submit these documents to the court with some state laws not even including the provisions of making a date with a judge to explain the reasoning or logic. If it is a nofault uncontested divorce and the documents are fair and reasonable then the divorce can become final. Make no mistake-this is the cheapest way to divorce.

Examining the route of traditional Divorce which sees most couples hiring opposing lawyers to battle out the property, alimony, child support and other issues out in the court of law the costs of divorce can be staggering. With most lawyers charging an hourly rate you can expect to pay somewhere between $ 100 and $ 450 per hour. At at a minimum of $100 bucks a pop-do they really have an incentive to settle amicably and see to it that proceedings happen in a quick and efficient manner? This is not to say that divorce lawyers are all cut from the same cloth as many do have varied philosophies to the divorce process and in the manner they handle most divorce proceedings. But once again- the idea of divorce is to make the split amicable and rationally-the more you can keep a level head and the emotions tame the better off both spouses with be with the outcome. No Fault Uncontested DIY Divorce Kits can make this option a tangible reality.

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File For Divorce Online; An Idea Whose Time has Come

 

Back in the day, the idea of divorcing your spouse was a challenge and invariably lead to rumors or innuendos that one spouse must have committed some grounds of divorce as as unspeakable, unsavory or sordid act like committing adultery, spousal abuse or emotional abuse and utilize these as leverage on the assumption they would serve as ammo or the necessary needed proof that your spouse had acted improperly and thus be granted a divorce. Think about that-two adults who wished to make the split almost being forced to attack the other simply to earn the right of being freed of matrimony.

Fortunately, those days are behind us divorcing your spouse is much easier. Most couples can simply divorce sans courthouse using the downloadable divorce kit without the stigma and horror of having you and your family forced to ride the roller coaster of divorce court and the possibility of children having to listen to mom and dads lawyers making each of their parents out to be horrible people. With the theatrics and working knowledge of the courts and the divorce process some lawyers are very adept at stretching a court case out far longer then it other wise would need to be.

If there are children involved-avoiding the courtroom altogether is the best decision possible as it considers the feelings of children and avoids the high probability of humiliation and trauma of sitting and listening hearing about mom or dads worse personal traits paraded through the court.
All states nowadays allow for “no fault”, “no contest”, or uncontested divorce which essentially means that both spouses can agree on the terms of a divorce and amicably work out their own settlement. Considered in this process is the sorting out of assets and loans, cars and houses, child custody, alimony etc etc.

With the notion of a long term courtship or knowing your soul mate after 10 minutes becoming far less frequent- we have seen a distinct rise in couples who are either getting married far too young or simply getting married after a very short time after meeting. As much as we smirk and snicker at the idea of a downloadable divorce kit; A “no contest’” divorce also has the benefit in that a couple can simply decide to split without having to give a reason.

And without question in almost all instances an uncontested divorce kit will surely avoid attorneys, lawyers, and court rooms which also equates to a “no contest” divorce being far more cost effective. Basically seeing both spouses work out the details by themselves to the benefit off all parties involved in an adult, rational decision.

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Post Divorce Dating; A Brave New World

 

The court case is over and the papers have been filed, the signatures have been applied with the I’s dotted and the T’s thoroughly crossed. If you completed a no fault uncontested divorce using an online divorce kit it probably means a better position for both parties. If you are a man it means being able to catch a football game with the guys whenever you like without asking for permission. For Women it means being able to spend more time with a close friend and visit all of the places you couldn’t visit when you were married. And once again the possibilities of dating and new exciting relationships linger and ever present.

The facts are though that dating post-divorce can be an exciting yet scary thing. Of course a lot of your attitude will depend on how your divorce went. A no fault uncontested amicable divorce will allow you to enter the new realm on a positive note; while a bitter divorce that may not have ended with the results you wanted may leave you timid, angry, bitter and in no position to once again be the life of the party you were pre-marriage. Every potential dating prospect may remind you of your ex which may set off a self fulfilling prophecy. If you are coming out of a long term marriage the dating game has drastically changed.

New found freedom post-divorce especially after a time consuming relationship can be a wonderful chance for you to get in touch with yourself. This is also a great time to pick up old hobbies or learn more of subjects of interest hat you’ve always wanted more information about but simply didn’t have the time due to marital and familial obligations. It is a shame more dont give out this type of divorce information. Go out and try something new! Make sure you are emotionally prepared and honest with yourself that you are prepared to enter the dating game. Do not look for a new relationship as a band aid or some sort of bridge.

When you take the first baby step into the dating game, tread lightly and slowly. Consider if you are one who likes group settings or more intimate company. There is nothing wrong with preferring conversation to a loud and noisy nightclub. If you used downloadable divorce forms you are probably aware of the new realms offered online. The Internet has opened up an entire new world allowing chat and email communication which means you will probably know far more about your dating partner then the old days of blind dates and pick up joints. Another benefit of online correspondence? You can take the relationship on your pace and terms; not to mention knowing your next date has at least moderate typing and computer skills.

Take advantage of the scenery change! Did you ex take up activities you didn’t like or had some personality quirks you found grating? Look at this as the opportunity to find your soul mate. If you ex had light skin and red hair you can opt for a more dark complected partner. If your partner wasnt the most talented you can find a Karaoke Buddy to spend time with. The Ex was stingy or obsessed with money? Some local art classes or community theater may all provide options for those with a taste for the arts over that of the Benjamins. Do not settle for less! This is a fantastic opportunity to do things on your terms-and if you remarry maybe the last for quite sometime. But remember- if the next marriage doesnt work out there is always do it yourself divorce courtesy of MyDivorceDocuments.com.

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Divorce Trends; The Surprising and the not so much……

There is an old saying that “love moves out when poverty moves in.”

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MyDivorceDocuments Presents; Divorce Information for Men

If your ex doesn’t work in a cooperative manner or lacks the ability to do what is best for the children; Take the high road. Someone will have to take the responsibility of being the anchor and the sail and if it isn’t going to be your ex it is your responsibility like it or not.

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Physical Custody Issues with DIY Divorce

Physical custody section is made up of several activities and events all having do with the actual time lines in which each parent takes and acts as sole guardian of their children at a prearranged, predetermined date as agreed upon by the spouses.

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