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A Few Tips on Divorce!

1.  Safety First

First basic steps are to try and keep yourself and your family safe.  If you are in a situation where safety is an issue, be sure to contact the police and immediately consult with a lawyer.

2. If you are looking to seek full custody of your children do not leave the residence without the kids

If you do not take your children with you when you leave, you may most likely lose the chance of seeking full custody of your kids.

3. Consult with a family law attorney if necessary

If you have made your final decision to divorce then you may want to consult with attorney to get more information on the proper steps to take for the divorce process.  Keep in mind that consulting with an attorney involves legal fees and expenses.  Be sure to ask the attorney immediately on specific charges.

4. Even if your spouse requests that you move out of the family residence, you have the right to stay

Maybe you should suggest that your spouse move out of the residence if she or he wants to be separated so badly.

5. Play Fair

Keeping a civil relationship with your spouse is very important.  Do not go and play games with disconnecting or canceling memberships or accounts.  It is very important to realize the same judicial officer will most likely be presiding over your face from start to finish.  You want that judicial officer to respect you.  If you do not play fair, the judicial officer in your case will remember that you were unreasonable and this may affect determinations of future decisions regarding custody, support, etc.

6. Do not fight over objects that have no real sentimental reasons just because

Unless you are fighting over an heirloom or something that is irreplaceable, ask yourself how much the attorney’s fees and emotional grief will cost you, and determine if it would be less expensive to purchase a new or used item.

7. Documents

At the official meeting with an attorney if you decide to use one you are asked to provide accurate information and documentation.  The faster you obtain this information, the faster they will be able to proceed with your dissolution.  If they are required to obtain documents through formal discovery, it will be expensive.  If you do not have bank records, order them.  If the accountant has your taxes, obtain the copies and get them to to the attorney’s office.

8.  Acknowledge your feelings / Consider Counseling

Divorce can be a very difficult time.  Be sure to acknowledge this fact.  If you find that your decisions regarding custody and visitation and/or property division are made out of anger, try and seek some counseling immediately.  The quicker you handle your emotions, the faster you will be healthy and can be a better parent and person.
9. Photograph your possessions

If you fear that your spouse may take your possessions, photograph them to show their condition and value.

Attached were just a few tips for you to know going into a divorce.  Now if you and your spouse are able to come to an agreement and make decision together then hiring an attorney is unnecessary.  Today most divorcing couples are taking the opportunity to do there own divorce.  You can find out more information by simply going to www.mydivorcedocuments.com to begin your low cost do it yourself online divorce today.



Women Tips on Divorce!

If you are thinking about ending your marriage, or are currently in the divorce process, the most important thing you need to do is accept responsibility for the outcome of your divorce.  Due to a woman’s standard of living generally drops at least thirty percent after a divorce, the decisions that you make now can have a considerable effect on your future.

It is wise to establish a plan of action instead of going into your divorce blindly.  Begin by educating yourself and learning about what the divorce laws are in your specific state.  If it is certain that your marriage will end, be sure to use the following divorce considerations to protect yourself.  Most importantly, if your spouse has initiated proceedings, do not sign anything until you are represented and informed by your own attorney.  Be sure to retain your own attorney to level the playing field and have fair representation if necessary.

Divorce Considerations on a Financial Status: Consider consulting a financial planner that is skilled in divorce proceedings.  They can help prepare you financially before you start your divorce, and point out areas of your settlement that will have repercussions in the future.  Keep the following suggestions in mind as you think about divorce:

  • Do not make any big purchases that will add to your debt.
  • Start to save money now for emergencies before and after your divorce.
  • Put a freeze on all your joint credit card accounts.
  • Keep working to secure your own future.
  • If you have your paycheck automatically deposited into a joint account, set up an individual account, and have the deposits made to it.
  • Keep all individual assets separate

Think about Support after the Divorce:

  • You are eligible for maintenance and child support during separation and divorce proceeding.
  • Child support is not taxable.
  • Your ex’s bankruptcy won’t affect the child support order.
  • Spousal support is taxable.

Divorce Considerations on Property and Assets: Consider the tax implications of any property received in the settlement

  • The marital home is exempt from this tax, but be realistic about whether you can really afford to live there.
  • A cash settlement is preferable to installment payments as part of a divorce settlement.

Divorce Considerations on Taxes and Liens:

  • Contact federal and state tax departments to see if there are any outstanding taxes owed.  Remember that you will be held just as liable as your ex.
  • Check at the county court house to see if there are any liens placed on any of your property.  Think twice before receiving such property in a settlement, unless your ex can pay off the lien before the divorce is finalized.

Divorce Considerations on Documents and Records: It is important to have copies of all records and accounts, since they have a way of disappearing once proceedings have begun.  With copies, you have all the relevant information that you will need in the future.

If you are fully prepared with all the above and are ready to take the step to begin your divorce process.  I would highly recommend you go www.mydivorcedocuments.com to begin your specific state divorce online today.  Not only will you save a ton of money but you will save time as well.

5 Tips to a Divorce!

Before you begin your divorce process, attached are five simple financial tips that can make your divorce a bit easier.

Tip # 1

Be sure to copy all of your legal documents and gather all of your financial information that you have accumulated over the duration of the marriage

First you will need to get a hold of all your finances like never before.  Whether you are a financial pro or whether you have not worked outside the home in years.  You will need to know everything possible in regards to your finances for the divorce.  One reason it is so critical to do this before the divorce process begins is that this information can often disappear once the divorcing begins.  It can become more difficult to find regardless of the cause or circumstances.  How can you know or plan for what to divide if you don’t know what you currently have?

Tip # 2

Begin to seek out expert advice to help you figure out what is next

Some of the financial information you’ve collected above you can start establishing your priorities. This may not sound like a financial step on the face of it but when you sit down and write the things that you’d like to have from your marriage, or try to envision what you might like or need in order to carry on into the future – these can and will actually be translated into numbers.  Do you think you and the children want to stay in the same neighborhood or house?  Do you want to hold onto most or all of your pension? If these are your priorities they will have a range of dollar signs eventually attached to them.

Tip # 3

Protect your Credit

Order a copy of your credit report early from all three reporting agencies: This is very important since you can now have this as a base line to know where you stand now, at the end of your marriage.  This way you’d be able to see whether any new unauthorized debt is being added in your name only and if you have no credit in your own name now, you may want to apply for a credit card.  To begin building your own credit now may be far easier while still married than after, all things being equal, especially if you have not been the primary breadwinner.

Tip # 4

Check up on your Insurance
Get to know the details of all the kinds of insurance that helps to protect your family.

Just the sheer number of types of insurance may be overwhelming, but take it one step at a time.  The goal is to get your hands around what coverage’s your family has and needs.  What are your policy numbers deductibles, limits, premiums?  Life, car, medical, dental, home-owners, renters, flood, insurance and the list goes on and on.  How important it is to keep your insurance related financial issues in order can not be over emphasized.   One example: On your life insurance policies, it’s really quite important that you locate and know now about who are the owners of the insurance – you, your wife/husband?  A family trust, your spouse, your children?  Knowing this now is essential  if for no other reason, you’ll now have this on your radar.

Tip # 5

Be sure to have your taxes prepared in a way that you will be comfortable for sometime

If it is tax season and you are preparing for a divorce, this may be notice that you should proceed with caution.  Be sure to contact your accountant or financial adviser and have him or her advise you not only the possible tax savings now that married jointly filing couples enjoy, but also on the potential future liability you could face in should the returns be found deficient.   Know that on returns where you sign jointly, you will be jointly held responsible.  This is most often the case whether or not you have any first hand knowledge of the all the financial information on your return.
As always, the best offense is a good defense and to arm you with knowledge is often the best first step in trying to achieve an equitable, fair outcome.  By trying to anticipate problems ahead of time you may avoid serious financial issues.  Be sure to get good advice throughout your entire process starting as early as possible in the process.

Now that you have a few pointers to remember during your divorce process, now is the time to decide how you want to go about your divorce.  There are several ways that you choose from.  These days many people are choosing to do there own divorce online.  This way not only saves you time but can also save you a lot of money as well.  You can begin this specific state down-loadable divorce process by simply going to www.mydivorcedocuments.com today.

FAQ on a Divorce!

Do I need to hire an Attorney?

Hiring an Attorney is not mandatory.  You are able to represent yourself. However, given the complex of all the issues that can occur, it would help with hiring a lawyer who is familiar with the law and experience.

How is the divorce commenced?

An action for divorce is commenced by the personal service of a summons upon your spouse.  Sometimes, the summons is accompanied by the complaint which sets forth the grounds for the divorce.

What are the grounds for divorce?

In some states, there are six grounds for divorce.  Of the six grounds, four of them are based on the “fault” of one of the parties. They are:

  1. cruel and inhuman treatment
  2. abandonment for one or more years
  3. imprisonment for three or more years
  4. adultery.

Living apart for one year under a separation judgment granted by a Court or under a separation agreement signed by the parties are the two grounds that are not fault based.

Can I receive child support or maintenance before I am divorced?

Yes. You can make a motion requesting that the Court grant you temporary maintenance and/or child support.  If ordered to pay, your spouse will be required to you these sums during the action for divorce.  Keep in mind that every divorce is unique in its own way.

I cannot afford a lawyer.  What should I do?

In addition to ordering your spouse to pay you maintenance or child support during the divorce, the court could require your spouse to pay your attorney and any experts you may need to hire.

Will marital fault impact on my rights to a property settlement?

Generally, marital fault does not impact on the economic issues of the divorce.  However, there are exceptions, particularly when one spouse is found to have wasted marital assets.

How quickly can I be divorced?

There is no way to predict how long it will take to obtain a divorce.  The time it takes to obtain a divorce differs from case to case and is solely dependent upon the extent to which the divorce and any of the related issues are contested.

If the divorce is not contested (that is, both spouses agree to the divorce and have worked out all issues relating to the division of marital assets, child custody and support), the divorce can be processed by the Court and granted quite quickly.

Can my spouse and I retain the same attorney?

No.  Divorce, even when uncontested, is an adversarial process.  You and your spouse have conflicting interests. Since an attorney could only represent one of your interests, it would be improper and unethical for an attorney to represent both spouses.

How much will a divorce cost?

The cost of the divorce is directly related to the complexity of the case and to the extent to which the issues are contested.  An uncontested divorce will obviously cost much less than a divorce where, for example, there exist hotly contested issues as to child custody or the division of marital assets.

An attorney will generally require the payment of a retainer at the outset of the representation.  You can expect to be billed on an hourly basis for work performed in the course of the representation. If the initial retainer was insufficient to cover all the legal fees and costs, you will receive periodic invoices, which you are expected to pay promptly.

In addition to paying your attorney, you will be responsible to pay court filing fees and the other costs incurred in the course of the divorce.

What if my spouse does not consent to a divorce?
Even if your spouse does not want a divorce, you may still be able to obtain one; your spouse cannot force your to remain married. In a contested divorce, you will be forced to prove, at trial, that the grounds for the divorce are true. If you can prove your case, you will be granted at divorce. On the other hand, if you fail to establish grounds for divorce, then your divorce will be denied.

Is there always a trial?

No.  A lot of cases are able to settle.  While it may appear at the commencement of your case that the divorce will be contested and that you will be forced to go to trial that it is seldom the case.  It generally takes some time for the parties to work out all the details of the divorce.  Often with the aid of the parties attorneys and the intervention of the court, the parties are able to work out their differences and, ultimately, settle the divorce.

Will the Court papers in my divorce become public records which anyone can read?

No.  By law, in order to protect the parties privacy, the courts limit access to papers in matrimonial cases to court personnel, the parties and their attorneys.

Now that you are a bit familiar on what to expect during your divorce you can simply begin your divorce process now.  Simply go to www.mydivorcedocuments.com and start your low cost no-attorney specific state divorce process now.

What is the Difference between an Absolute & Limited Divorce?

A limited divorce is a legal action in which the court supervises a couple’s separation.  It is generally used by people who:

  • Do not yet have grounds for an absolute divorce
  • Need financial relief
  • Are unable to settle their differences without an attorney

During a limited divorce, the parties are to live apart.  However, they remain legally married but separated.

  • Although the parties are still married, neither party has the right to have sexual relations with the other spouse.
  • In addition, neither spouse may remarry, nor sexual relations with another person during a limited divorce and is considered adultery.

The court determines which party is at fault, if either is at fault.  The court may grant support to one spouse based on the particular situation.

The limited divorce can also resolve questions of:

  • Child custody
  • Child support
  • Health insurance coverage and
  • Division of personal and real property

If spousal support is not required and there is no property to divide, there is generally no need for a limited divorce.

If one spouse dies after a limited divorce the other spouse may still inherit property.  Also the form of ownership for any property you own as husband and wife will stay the same.

Grounds for a Limited Divorce

To obtain a limited divorce, you must first prove at least one of four grounds.  These grounds include the following:

  • Cruelty of treatment
  • Physically or mentally abused
  • Abandonment
  • Mutual and voluntary separation

The more frequently used ground is desertion.  There are two types of desertion, actual and constructive.

  • Actual desertion is where one party unjustifiably abandons the other or actually kicks out the other spouse from the home.
  • Constructive desertion is where one party is forced to leave the home because of the misconduct of the other.

There is no certain amount of time needed to prove desertion in a limited divorce.  Any reasonable time period will justify the action.

Also, a spouse may obtain a limited divorce where one spouse engages in cruelty of treatment or excessively vicious conduct toward the other spouse or a minor child of the party who is filing for a limited divorce.  A victimized spouse who leaves the marital home because of some type of abuse also has a legal action for a limited divorce on the grounds of constructive desertion, as well as a justifiable defense to an abusing spouse’s claim of desertion.

On this note, if you and your spouse are able to come to an agreement without an attorney you are able to use the do it yourself divorce.  Not only will a DIY divorce save you money but it will also give you the peace of mind that you are waiting for so you can begin your new life today.  Simply go to www.mydivorcedocuments.com and download your specific state forms and kit now.

Pointers for Both Parents & Children During Divorce!

Basic Tips for Parents during a Divorce

  1. Always be sure to have alone time with your children for reassurance.
  1. Always tell the truth and do not break any promises or lie to your children.
  1. Do not fight or yell in front of your children for it may scare or worry them even more during the divorce process.
  1. Continue to stay involved with your children and help your children with their homework, sports, etc.
  1. Always keep your children updated and share all information that is relevant to them with them.
  1. Listen to your children and always pay attention to them.
  1. Always have patience with your children and try not to get too upset during emotional times.
  1. When you’re angry, do not take out your aggressions on your children.
  1. Be sure to communicate your feeling with your children always keep the lines of communication open for them.

Basic Rights for the Children during a Divorce

  1. Do not ever ask your children to choose sides between you and your spouse.
  1. Do not tell your children all the horrible details going on between you and your spouse.
  1. Do not badmouth one another in front of your children or to your children.
  1. Always give the right to privacy of one anothers conversations for either parent on the phone or visitation rights.
  1. Always keep the right to not cross examine your children after they have visited the other parent.
  1. Do not ask your children to relate messages between you and your spouse.  This is where communication between you and your spouse is very important for the kids sanity.
  1. The right not to be used as a confidant regarding the legal proceedings between the parents.
  1. Do not take the rights of your child’s feelings away due to another parent.
  1. Always be sure to keep the right to be protected from parental warfare.
  1. Be sure to always reassure your children and not make them feel guilty for loving both parents.

Now that you have been educated on some very good pointers for your divorce process, you are ready to take the next step.  If you are able to come to an agreement with your spouse on all terms then you are ready to begin your divorce.  You can simply go to www.mydivorcedocuments.com and begin your low cost specific state divorce today.

Children are Real Victims in Divorce Battle Royales

Often overlooked in an ugly, prolonged Court and Attorney driven divorce is the emotional costs inflicted on the children. The routine of having a mom and dad at home for emotional support becomes a domestic nightmare when the child’s support system not only becomes fractured-but the two anchors in a child’s life file for divorce and are soon to become bitter enemies. Engrossed in their own personal battles, some parents overlook the needs of their children spiritually, emotionally, and financially and never think about the practicality of a quick divorce. The decision to file for divorce practically conjures images of LA Law type courtroom scenes. From the time the initial divorce papers are filed the entire process can take from as little as a few months if lucky to as long as several years…if the divorce lawyer is lucky.

It’s the emotional instability of the parents in a crucial moment of time when a quick divorce driven on amicability and what’s best for all parties involved becomes a long, bitter drawn out court driven affair seemingly benefiting only the attorneys and myriads of other lawyers, paralegals, and court staff typically involved.

Making matter worse at the end of the ordeal is the child is sometimes given the choice of which parent he or she would like to stay with. It’s not too much different then the movie Sophie’s Choice where there is, and never will be a clear cut, easy solution to satisfy all. Sadly, the last 50 years this type of activity has become commonplace and normal. Some statistics show the current divorce rate in America is 41%.

Divorce is never an easy process, but provided the adults act like adults and can keep a rational amicability in an otherwise emotionally fraught situation; a no fault uncontested divorce can make a tough time palatable and even help to keep a close familial bond. Think about this for a moment, a child’s last memory of his parents being together comprised of court room accusations, heated words, and dwindling bank accounts and an overwhelming sense of uncertainty versus that of parents reaching a
mutually beneficial solution

all the while reinforcing that though change is inevitable, that mom and dad did the right thing to benefit the children and oftentimes garner an extra layer of respect for each other. Given both scenarios-the decision is simple.

There are several ways today to file for divorce in this rational manner that can prevent a messy, long termed divorce. Downloadable Online Divorce Forms and Online Divorce Kits can simplify and bring an ease to an other wise difficult situation. While the thought at first of Online Divorce may seem absurd; a few years ago online dating carried a certain stigma as well while today its commonplace and websites like Match.com are experience record hits and impressions on search engines. Its a safe bet to assume that with the passage of time and as the general public begins to acclimate to the relative ease of Do It YourSelf style services that uncontested divorce will soon be as commonplace as amazon or google.

It is with this philosophy that websites like MyDivorceDocuments.Com and EasyAgreements.Com will soon become the standard for legally binding documents that will take the nasty battle element from divorce, and put the harmony and goodwill of familial stability into a tangible alternative for our children.

The Male Perspective of Divorce

Divorce can be ugly and it doesn’t take Freud to unveil the facts. A married couple who at one point had the assumption that as life partners they would grow old together decide to go separate ways, there is resentment, hatred and a fury of mixed emotions which makes “irreconcilable differences” seem far too gentle of phrase. While there have been plenty of articles, blogs, websites, and LifeTime Network movies made for divorced women focused on handling depression and other negative effects of divorce; Hardly any attention gets shined on men’s reactions to divorce. MyDivorceDocuments.com examines the issue.

As of 2008 there was an estimate that close to 40% of marriages ended in divorce. The stats for second marriages are even less impressive. And while we are led to believe that most men are at fault for divorce for not showing enough affection at best and abuse at worst-no one disputes that divorce is hard on everyone. Most men can ponder what will happen in terms of child support and custody laws but once the ruling is made, most men can begrudgingly accepts it.

In general, men are defined by more than just their status in a marriage. A lifelong bachelor with a successful career never gets castigated of question yet an older woman in similar circumstances gets branded a spinster. A man who doesn’t want children isn’t looked at it in the same light as woman. A man can get judged by his job, his car, his hobbies and ironically men are effected more by employment status then marital status. If a man can pay the child support and have more time to golf-he probably isn’t going to think the divorce process a bad decision.

In stark contrast; men do not suffer the depression women do and tend to be far more impacted by employment status. Yet post divorce studies show an amazing statistic in that a woman’s standard of living drops by 73% while the man’s standard of living increases by 42%. It’s going to get a whole lot better soon. Probably a good thing that most men do not know this stat as I am sure many men on the marital fence would probably have visited MyDivorceDocuments.com yesterday. But once again; the pull of providing for spouse and children is a powerful and compelling reason to stay and given that men typically won’t research divorce law or child support laws there tends to be a blind eye cast to the subtle nuance of divorce law.

Lets examine it-a man gets divorced. Now what? He still has his job, friends, business associates and a social support system that he probably lamented not being able to spend more time with. Since Time and Memorium men have been raised to be the Hunters, Breadwinners, builders, police and fireman rolled into one; knowing the ins and outs of Divorce Law take a backseat to the needs of the family.

Studies show that men suffer disproportionate health effects on a far higher scale for employment factors then marital factors while the stats for woman are quite the opposite. The facts are no one looks eagerly towards divorce and very few men endure the divorce process unscathed. It is however time to admit that emotional factors and baggage due to divorce isn’t always solely reserved for women.

Negative Energy; Divorce’s Ugly ByProduct

Of all the emotions that can be rendered from the divorce process, Anger is truly the single most dangerous emotion that rears its ugly head when divorce is involved. Making matters all the more troubling is that when the process is over and considered a closing chapter in your life it is not uncommon that these two emotions though will last a great deal above and beyond what should have been the initial benchmark for closure.

Anger and resentment are natural responses to being emotionally damaged and are all too uncommon feelings that are experience and held onto during the divorce process. It is perfectly normal to feel some or all of these things when you have been hurt. These feelings may seem impossible to let go of, especially if issues of child custody and child support are concerned, but for a platitude of explanations but hanging on to them and letting those feeling linger and fester will only have an end result of long lasting negative effects on your mental and physical well-being and without question compromising your ability to start working towards rebuilding your life. The attitude of rebirth and a second chance to start with a better, more fulfilling life should never take a back seat to residual negativity.

Anger, resentment, guilt, and other negative emotions can slowly eat away away at the stability of your life in the following ways;
Anger is an energy that is draining and sadly the process of divorce and divorce laws can set up an overwhelmingly negative situation. That energy of anger robs you and depletes you of your positive power by transfering it to the person you are mad at. How much energy it takes to be mad at your ex? How much time and energy have you spent thinking and lingering over it? Time and Energy both have finite resources and no one has ever benefited by letting negative energy take over the positive and proactive abilities at your disposal.

An instinctive reaction to a grievance is resentment. Stemming and forming from the perception that you have been wronged or somehow being treated unfairly. Resentment can be defined as an inherent binding to bitterness and can be linked to the dangerous road toward outright hatred. These emotions can slowly and surely start to negatively impact the mind, body, and heart not to mention these two negative emotions of resent and anger are unquestionably socially destructive. Have friends stopped returning your calls or emails? It is probably not that they no longer want to be friends as much as it is that spending time with an angry, resentful person is unpleasant. We are not the first to realize that the fastest way to alienate others is to perpetuate yourself as one who cannot let go of the emotional baggage of anger and resentment. When someone who used to be known as “the fun friend” is now known as “the angry friend” you can expect luncheon invitations will start to decline. And while an online divorce kit can help start the divorce process we also recognize that factors of post divorce emotional well being.

In essence-do not lot divorce define your life and who you are. No matter how negative and emotionally draining the divorce process may have been letting it define you as a person is the surest way to limit your post divorce possibilities.

File For Divorce Online; An Idea Whose Time has Come

 

Back in the day, the idea of divorcing your spouse was a challenge and invariably lead to rumors or innuendos that one spouse must have committed some grounds of divorce as as unspeakable, unsavory or sordid act like committing adultery, spousal abuse or emotional abuse and utilize these as leverage on the assumption they would serve as ammo or the necessary needed proof that your spouse had acted improperly and thus be granted a divorce. Think about that-two adults who wished to make the split almost being forced to attack the other simply to earn the right of being freed of matrimony.

Fortunately, those days are behind us divorcing your spouse is much easier. Most couples can simply divorce sans courthouse using the downloadable divorce kit without the stigma and horror of having you and your family forced to ride the roller coaster of divorce court and the possibility of children having to listen to mom and dads lawyers making each of their parents out to be horrible people. With the theatrics and working knowledge of the courts and the divorce process some lawyers are very adept at stretching a court case out far longer then it other wise would need to be.

If there are children involved-avoiding the courtroom altogether is the best decision possible as it considers the feelings of children and avoids the high probability of humiliation and trauma of sitting and listening hearing about mom or dads worse personal traits paraded through the court.
All states nowadays allow for “no fault”, “no contest”, or uncontested divorce which essentially means that both spouses can agree on the terms of a divorce and amicably work out their own settlement. Considered in this process is the sorting out of assets and loans, cars and houses, child custody, alimony etc etc.

With the notion of a long term courtship or knowing your soul mate after 10 minutes becoming far less frequent- we have seen a distinct rise in couples who are either getting married far too young or simply getting married after a very short time after meeting. As much as we smirk and snicker at the idea of a downloadable divorce kit; A “no contest’” divorce also has the benefit in that a couple can simply decide to split without having to give a reason.

And without question in almost all instances an uncontested divorce kit will surely avoid attorneys, lawyers, and court rooms which also equates to a “no contest” divorce being far more cost effective. Basically seeing both spouses work out the details by themselves to the benefit off all parties involved in an adult, rational decision.